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[C'EST MOI]
living paradox. individualist with anarchistic tendencies.
eludes eminence but appreciates subtle recognition.
capricious yet dependable. clandestine and unfathomable.
cynical realist who succumbs to the occasional idealism.

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Wednesday, July 13, 2005

A little trip named Guilt

Despite a very obvious lack of sleep last night, nothing was going to make SHOPPING too difficult.

Sounds like an exciting adventure right: the anticipation, the exhiliration, the adrenaline rush, the euphoria; but at the end of the day, it just becomes a little thing called Guilt.

I was supposed to accompany Grace to look for a suitable pair of sandals and we decided that Bugis would be a good place to start the hunt for something that's valued for money. Little did we know that we'd also be tempted by the many OTHER 'goodvalueformoney' stuff.

SO... we ended up buying a bunch of other things like...


An orange straw bag (perfect for the beach!) and cheapo shades (but looks like Versace hor)


and a pair of pretty flipflops for me. It's super comfy and will definitely not leave me blisters like my other pair.


The partners in crime


Trying to act cool (but we really didn't have to act anyway... cool already. hehe)

I was listening to Jay Chou on my way home after the shopping and this particular song stirred up a very queer emotion inside me. A very strong feeling of deja vu.

I don't know if it's the same for everyone else, but each song that I like holds a significant meaning - it relates to a particular phase in my life.

Because I have the habit of replaying a song over and over and over again, it slowly becomes intertwined with my emotions, my thoughts and my experiences at that moment in my life. And even after I've passed the phase and moved on, listening to the song again brings back loads of memories and buried emotions (which are aplenty... because I tend to live in denial sometimes).

So as I sat on the bus and 'Jie Kou' played on, it was as if I was looking back on my life from a third person point of view, yet I could completely identify with the situation - why I felt what I felt; why I did what I did and why I reacted that way.

I don't know if it's a good thing, that these songs I like keep bringing up the past that I sometimes try so hard to forget.

Maybe I need to learn a thing or two about accepting that pain is all part of living.

[Time of Confession] 11:10 PM
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