Confessions of an Undisguised Drama Queen

Thursday, December 30, 2004

We are the Champions

I've paid my dues
Time after time
I've done my sentence
But committed no crime
And bad mistakes
I've made a few
I've had my share of sand
Kicked in my face
But i've come through
And i need to go on and on and on and on

We are the champions - my friend
And we'll keep on fighting till the end
We are the champions
We are the champions
No time for losers
'cause we are the champions of the world

I've taken my bows
And my curtain calls
You've bought me fame and fortune
And everything that goes with it

Reigning Powerhouse of Hockey!!!
After our girls' semi-finals match (which we won), the guys were up against Hall 3 for the champion title. Having won the last year, we were all hyped up and full of excitement for our guys to defend their title.

Ghazi was back in action today and as Jacq mentioned, he does have a calming effect on the guys. With him around, they know that the gold medal is within their grasp. Playing the game skilfully, our players were steady and composed. The defence was strong and flawless - Hall 3 had no possible chance of scoring. On the other hand, with the superb manoeuvring of the ball, Ghazi managed to score the winning goal.

I have never screamed so much in my life. At least I don't remember ever screaming so hard.

I'm so impressed with the guys' teamwork and vigor. I'm more impressed with Ghazi's aptitude! It's the first time I'm seeing him on the pitch and I tell you, when I was watching him play, I was practically gaping in awe.

Hall 3 had no chance at all. Midway of the match, after Ghazi scored the goal, a very flustered and agitated Hall 3 captain started screaming at his players to mark the f***ing attackers. With that kind of attitude, they were not fit to win.

The girls' finals which followed went on in the midst of a heavy downpour. We were faced with a very strong opposing team, Hall 2, which has 4 hockey IVP players. But Peiting said this to encourage us, " We also have IVP players what... don't be afraid of them ok!" (but of course the IVP players we have were not from hockey... haha)

With blurred visions, we tried our best to defend our goal against the very aggresive Hall 2 players. Very unfortunately, they managed to score a goal within the first half.

After that, they were very tight on their defence and although there were a few chances for us to score, they were all futile attempts. Although the match ended with us losing 0-1, I believe that we ARE already champions having come this far.

I'm really delighted to be able to play with such a wonderful team. The feeling of facing the game together, working together and supporting each other is something that I rarely get. It's completely different from playing squash whereby I'm facing my opponent on my own.

Hockey girls, you have been amazing! I've had so much joy playing with you all. Thank you for the invaluable experience. Let's come back again next year and reach for the gold medal!

PS: For the related photos, do check out my 2nd photo site. Will upload them very soon! Check out the pic of my idols and I!!!!

[Time of Confession] 8:55 PM
1 Wisecracks for Me

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Wednesday, December 29, 2004

Spinning around

I just can't stop thinking of how my head hurts. Suffering from a merciless migraine. Could be due to a lack of sleep. Or worse, a brain tumour.

Anyway, today's quarterfinals squash match against Hall 3 was one of the most nerve-wrecking. Most of our players were not on form today - Jack was suffering from a bruised chest from rugby, Kian Choon was burnt and achy from rugby, I had sore muscles from yesterday's hockey and like me, Joanne was tired from lack of rest.

We managed to win the game by a close fight. Credit goes to Kian Choon, Ren Choon and Joanne for winning their matches.

I lost.

Despite the fact that making it into the semi-finals is something to be happy about, I'm not exactly in the best of moods because I felt I could have won my opponent. It WAS within my ability. It's not impossible. I had such a good chance! But sadly, during the third set, I seemed to have lost my concentration and drive. I literally GAVE the last few points to my opponent.

Oh well, I will take this as a lesson well learnt. I'm probably not mentally strong enough to play well in spite of discomfort and fatigue. Need to work on that. Maybe I didn't want it badly enough.

Sigh. Could do with some cheering up. Anyone up to it?

[Time of Confession] 10:02 PM
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Tuesday, December 28, 2004

Euphoria

Euphoria. The perfect word to describe the feeling I had today. It's good enough that I get to feel this way at all but it's my lucky day. It came to me not once but twice.

I bet the level of endorphins in my body now is so high that I will wake up tomorrow
after a sweet, sweet dream not only with a smile plastered on my face, but with my hair looking shinier and my skin feeling smoother. Hahaha.... I need to feel this way more often!

WE WON OUR HOCKEY MATCHES TODAY!!!!!!!!!

The male hockey team, being last year's champions, were under a certain amount of pressure to win today's semi-finals match against Hall 2. Although our star player, Ghazi, couldn't play due to course commitments, the guys faced the competition bravely and fought hard to win during the penalty! Three cheers for Boon Kiat the "saat saat" keeper!

The female hockey team has already rewrote history by making it into the quarter-finals. During the quarters this evening, we were all focused and determined to leave a greater impression by making it into the semi-finals. And we did!

Kudos to our good defence, our cute keeper Tresa, our superb wingers and centres, especially LI TING!!! She's damn super lah... my idol!! Haha... it's such an honour to be playing the forward.... passing the ball to her and she scored! Our winning goal~

Let me bask in the wondrous feeling of winning as I rest my aching muscles which are on "fire" because I accidently applied too much Yoko-yoko.... owww....

I really hope we'll win tomorrow's squash match (and squash all our opponents) and continue on this winning streak!

Good luck to US!

[Time of Confession] 11:22 PM
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Monday, December 27, 2004

Insomnia

I woke up early today with a stuffed nose. The day went on as any other day. Had a hockey match against Hall 3 (under the bloody hot sun - my uneven tan is getting worse) and we managed to beat the girls by a very lucky penalty shot. I must emphasize - VERY lucky. That Hall 3 goalie must be beating herself up inside for letting such an easy shot roll happily between the goal posts. Maybe her teammates are beating her up too. Haha. Evil thought.

Anyway, I received an Xmas present from TNT (my dearie friends Tresa and Theresa). It's a piggy handphone hugger that emits light and snorts when radiation is detected. It's the first time I've seen a handphone hugger like this and it's so cute! But Tresa warned that I might get irritated with it in time to come. I hope it doesn't happen soon...

New Year's Eve is coming soon and I intend to spend it with my sec school buddies. That is, if they are available. Hmm... it's not very likely given that they'd probably prefer to spend it with their significant others but I'll try my luck. Amongst the 4 of us, I'm the only one who's a swinging singleton. I wonder if that's a good or a bad thing... especially considering that most of my good friends are attached, there aren't many left for good company on lonely days. No complains though. I come and go as I please.

Drats. Now I'm in my hostel room with nothing to do. There's nothing good on tv, my eyes are tired from staring at my computer screen and I don't feel like reading. I tried sleeping but I can't. Maybe it's insomnia.

[Time of Confession] 9:53 PM
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Saturday, December 25, 2004

Christmas over the years

When I was younger, Christmas was family-orientated. We would go to church together. There would have be a Christmas dinner - most of time home-prepared but sometimes a rare treat outside. The Christmas tree would be up with lights, decorations and cotton wool for snow. Our presents would sit under the tree and so would my brother and I, waiting for the clock to strike twelve on Christmas eve so that we could unravel the mystery of what our parents got for us. Christmas was simple, warm and happy.

Time moved on and so did everything and everyone else.

In my early teens, Christmas was still spent at church. But this time, not with my family. My father wasn't a believer. My mum moved to another church, bringing my younger siblings with her (who were not born yet during those younger days of mine). My older brother stopped going to church altogether. I stayed on. And Christmas was spent with my church friends. They were my other family.

I guess this continued till I was about eighteen. Some of my closest friends left the church, some moved to a different service/ cell group. Things changed and I didn't feel like I belonged anymore. So I left.

Then, Christmas was beginning to lose it's meaning.

Being brought up as a Christian, my Christmas revolved around the birth of Christ, singing carols and celebrating the love of God. Santa and his reindeers were just silly made-up stories by some bored writer who was probably a non-believer, anti-Christ or something to me. I totally skipped that heart-breaking phase most kids go through when they find out that Santa is a hoax.

I vividly remember what was my supposed first attempt to spend Xmas away from church. (it feels funny calling it CHRISTmas because really, the day wasn't 'Christ-centred') I had called up 2 of my girl friends to head out to Orchard Rd together on Xmas eve - it was where the Xmas spirit was.

Or so I thought.

It was pretty fun at first. Then the people just kept increasing and before long, we were caught in a massive human jam. The Xmas eve night was beginning to seem like a nightmare. Then, just as I thought things could not get any worser, my friends had to leave. And it was only around 11. They were going to meet up with their boyfriends. What happened after is insignificant... Important lesson learnt: NEVER ask attached friends out only.

This year's Xmas is not pathetic, like last year's (thank goodness). No more friends who have to leave and spoil the evening. It's just my best friend and I.

Movies, chips, a nice seafood dinner and satay, doing mani-pedis, facials, exchanging gifts and just talking through the night... We were supposed to get up early this Xmas morning to go for a run and then a swim but the lazy us slept till noon before finishing our last movie. It was a sweet and enjoyable Xmas this year. A celebration of friendship, singlehood and independence. Ha!

I feel a sense of relief making it through yet another Xmas. Maybe things will be different next year. Whatever it is, I do hope if things do change, they will do so for the better.

[Time of Confession] 5:46 PM
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Friday, December 24, 2004

Hair Makeover!

A new look~

[Time of Confession] 1:14 PM
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My head feels so much lighter!

[Time of Confession] 1:10 PM
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Satisfied...

[Time of Confession] 1:09 PM
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Thursday, December 23, 2004

Love of the Phantom

He told her to leave the man she loved. He threatened to take the man's life unless she chose to stay with him forever.

"Come with me and you save his life. Leave and he dies."

She was torn between her mentor and the man she loved. Both loved her. The only difference was that she was a captive with one and a free person with the other.

She was in tears. She didn't know what to do. She walked towards him, her heart breaking as the knowledge of having to leave Raoul sank in.

Just as I thought that the Phantom would whisk Christine away forever, he told her to leave with Raoul. And never come back. "Go. And don't let them find you. Leave now..."

He broke down in tears - the only person he loved was leaving him forever.

Then she came, standing in the doorway, with the ring he had given her. It was on her hand. Will she decide to stay with him? Has she accepted his love? Will she forsake the man she loves and be with the man who loves and needs her?

The glimmer of hope disappeared as Christine took the ring and placed it into his palm. She chose to be free. She chose to leave the Angel of Music.

"The Phantom of the Opera" is a beautiful love story. The love the phantom had for Christine was so strong he would kill for her. To many that is beyond love. It's become obsession. Of course, in real life that would be really freaky. And not to mention illegal.

But that's the magic of movies and musicals, ain't it? They make things like these seem so enchanting.

If only life was half as romantic as what we see in the movies....

Oh just ignore me.

Watching shows like these is just like buying a pair of rose-tinted glasses. My perspective of life gets "stained" for a while suchthat I see things in a different light. I wonder if that is a good thing or a bad thing.

[Time of Confession] 10:02 PM
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Crazy Sale at Mango

Mango Sale!

[Time of Confession] 4:47 PM
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Grace and her shopping... good buys!

[Time of Confession] 4:46 PM
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Mine! All Mine!

[Time of Confession] 4:45 PM
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Wednesday, December 22, 2004

Blank

Don't feel like blogging about anything in particular today. It's not the writer's block. It's a voluntary action. Not quite in the mood to share my thoughts.

Would like to apologize to my ardent readers if you're disappointed. So am I. There are so many things going through my mind now that I don't know where to start.

Emotions are a messy thing. Yet without emotions, there's no way we can live life. It's such a pain. What's worse is when you don't know how you feel. It's so hard to tell if it's your heart or your head speaking. And even if you knew, which one do you heed?

Bah. Humbug.

[Time of Confession] 10:42 PM
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Monday, December 20, 2004

The 12 Days of Christmas

There are five more days to Christmas... and I'm already feeling the festive bulge arising around my waist. Sheesh. Whatever happened to my supposed low calorie diet.

Apparently all the eating boo-boos went out the window when I indulged in all the bbq food the guys in my block were preparing. Yummylicious. Thanks guys, for the great food and beer! Burp.

For Huiyan's interest, I shall share the meaning of the 12 days of Christmas. We were desperately trying to recall what "my true love gave to me" on each day of Christmas. Here's the completed list and their biblical meanings. The "true love" actually refers to God who bestows gifts to His children (us!),

On the first day of Christmas, my true love sent to me, a partridge in a pear tree.
The partridge symbolises Jesus Christ, the only Son of God

On the second day of Christmas, two turtle doves.
The turtle doves represent the Old and New Testament in the Bible.

On the third day of Christmas, three french hens.
They represent faith, hope and charity, which are theological virtues.

On the fourth day of Christmas, four calling birds.
Representing the 4 gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John.

On the fifth day of Christmas, five golden rings.
The five golden rings are like the first 5 books of the Old testament, which account for the history of Man's fall from grace.

On the sixth day of Christmas, six geese a-laying.
Symbolizing the six days God used to create earth.

On the seventh day of Christmas, seven swans a-swimming.
The seven gifts of the Holy Spirit - wisdom, understanding, counsel, fortitude, piety, knowledge and fear.

On the eighth day of Christmas, eight maids a-milking
The eight beatitudes - Blessed are the poor in spirit for they shall inherit the kingdom of God
- Blessed are the the meek for they shall possess the land
- Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted
- Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they
shall be satisfied.
- Blessed are the merciful for they shall obtain mercy.
- Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God.
- Blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called children of God.
- Blessed are they who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness for
theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

On the ninth day of Christmas, nine ladies dancing.
Representing the nine fruits of the Holy spirit - love, JOY, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

On the tenth day of Christmas, ten lords a-leaping.
Representing the 1o Commandments.

On the eleventh day of Christmas, eleven pipers piping.
Representing the 11 faithful apostles of Jesus (Jesus had 12 disciples but one betrayed him)

On the twelveth day of Christmas, twelve drummers drumming.
Representing the twelve points of doctrine in the Apostle's Creed.

Phew. There you have it. So now you know that this song is not really just a regular Christmas carol based on secular love!

[Time of Confession] 11:33 PM
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Sunday, December 19, 2004

Ocean's Thirteen

I would give up anything and everything to be Danny Ocean's thirteenth member of his "organization". Of course, I probably don't even qualify, but what the heck. Who knows, if that Chinese acrobat, Yen, gets kicked out because of his overspending on busty models twice his height, I might just be able to replace him. I'm probably around his height. And with enough practice, I could probably fit into a black duffel bag too.

So don't be surprised if one day I happen to be missing in action. I'm probably on a flight to Europe to steal some famous painting or to some city to rob a casino. No, wait. Danny has already done that. The next heist would be something more original.

HMM... I could offer some suggestions. How about the largest PRADA or LV boutique in the world? Then even if I don't make a fortune selling off the loot, I can shower myself and my close ones with the haute couture clothes and accessories. Or.... or.... we could rob the richest man in the world. Bill Gates. Hahahaha.... that would be fun!

Alright, I shan't reveal any further details of our next mission lest Danny gets paranoid. I just hope Tess gets so thrilled with playing Julia Roberts in Ocean's Twelve that she decides to join Jacky Wu's celebrity lookalike contest in Taiwan. Then I can have Danny all to myself. Muahaha...

Isabel (Catherine Zeta Jones) can stay for all she wants. I'm not interested in a bald headed Rusty (Brad Pitt) all clothed to the neck in a suit. It's too bad dressing in an olden day Greek armor will attract too much unwanted attention. I bet he'd look way sexy in that.

PS: For those who don't quite get what I'm saying, references to the movies Ocean's Twelve and Troy were made.

PPS: Ocean's Twelve wasn't half as good as the original Ocean's Eleven. But I bet Ocean's Thirteen will be the best. You know why.

[Time of Confession] 9:22 PM
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Saturday, December 18, 2004

Claustrophobia

The truth is simple. I hate crowds. Especially the weekend crowd in town. It irritates me. It disgusts me. I simply detest being around town when I am prevented from walking at my normal speed - which is, fast.

I hate having to squeeze my way through the train doors. I hate having to say EXCUSE ME loudly lest I miss my stop, just because the people entering the train refuse to budge and make a way for me to exit. I hate being squashed in a crowd of sharp elbows, humongous shopping bags, screaming babies, giggling schoolgirls and the person who has not heard of the invention : deodorant. My cry for help is often drowned and unheard amongst the loud conversations people hold while on their handphones. Someone please tell them that the person they're talking to is not hard of hearing.

Much as I loathe the weekend crowd, almost every week, without fail, I'm being conned into going to town. One week, it's a family thing. The next, it's a movie with my girl friends (the weekdays are unavailable because I'd be stranded at NTU). And the following, I'd be in town again... doing God knows what.

Like today, I very much wanted to stay home and just rest my aching muscles. However, an aunt who just got back from NZ wanted to pass me some things she bought and not wanting her to carry the lot of stuff all the way to my house, I volunteered to get it from her instead. So, I made my way down to my grandma's place.

When I reached my grandma's place, I collected the gifts and was about to make my way home when my aunt asked me to follow my grandma and her to Suntec for this food exhibition. Thinking I wouldn't be doing much at home anyway since no one was in, I agreed.

Reaching Suntec City and seeing that it was filled with people, I suddenly remembered that it's a Saturday. Dammit! I got tricked into coming to town AGAIN!

Dragging my feet along as my aunt and grandma excitedly walked around the exhibition hall, I wasn't the singlest bit enticed by the aroma of the great variety of food. On the contrary, the nauseating effect of the crowd was so overwhelming I lasted less than 20 minutes in that place before bidding farewell to my aunt and grandma and headed home.

Come tomorrow I will be in town again. To catch a movie. But Sundays aren't as bad as Saturdays.... right?

[Time of Confession] 8:53 PM
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Achy Achy

I'm so achy. Even as I'm sitting, I can feel my shoulder and back muscles crying out in pain. But I'm not complaining about it. In fact, I'm happy that I'm aching. It only goes to show that I had a really good workout yesterday at squash training! I probably burnt off like a million calories of fat! Wahaha! I played like 7 sets with my captain (and lost all, obviously) and playing with a guy is always twice the workout coz they really make you run for the ball like crazy. All that running is now making me think twice when I want to laugh, because when I do, my ribs hurt... owww.... *laughing very mildly*

I was in rather high spirits because it's the weekend yet again and that means I can go home and see my family and my dearie hamster. But my bubble burst when my sister told me that they were all going on a holiday to Sunway Lagoon, Malaysia. There was a ticket for me to go too but I can't leave because I'm having matches next week. Darn. What luck. Why did the dates have to clash?

Oh well... so now I'm back home but without my family. How sucky. At least I have my hamster for company and looking on the bright side, I'm going to watch Ocean's Twelve tomorrow! Woohoo! Hi there George Clooney!

Lalala.... I'm really looking forward to the coming Christmas.... it's going to be a really special and fun one this year (i hope!)

Till then... ouch. Can't do that evil laugh thing.

[Time of Confession] 9:40 AM
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Thursday, December 16, 2004

To want it badly...

I'd like to say a big thank you to my friends who expressed their concern over my really sucky mood yesterday. I merely needed an avenue for me to vent my pent up frustrations. It does feel good to just let it all out. Almost like crying. Just that it's without the tears.

Today, I was really heartened by the enthusiasm of my softball girls who came down for training. Despite the harsh UVB and UVA rays which are making the bunch of us look like Malays, everyone showed great sportswomanship and fervor for the game. It really made my day. I really hope they keep this up and do their best for the match on Monday!

Following the softball training was the first squash match for this year's IHG. I was really kinda nervous because I thought I'd be playing with this really good player who was with the Hall 2 players but apparently, she was only there for show. She's not even a Hall 2 resident! *^&*#%#$

Anyway, I played against this girl who seemed like a tennis player. Her serves were really powerful and I lost my second set to her because I was feeling really tired - I could feel the lactic acid accumulating in my calf muscles and I was beginning to lose concentration. However, thanks to the encouragement of my team and hall mates, and a piece of advice a friend once gave me "To win, you must WANT to win badly" - I managed to win the game.

The feeling of winning is inexplicable. The elation, the jubilation, the sense of achievement and relief all rolled into one. I'm glad I didn't give up midway and pushed myself till the end. Although I also feel I could have played much better, there's still tomorrow's training and the next match to work on!

I hope this won't be the only time I get to feel this way.

[Time of Confession] 9:31 PM
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Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Sighs

A friend once told me that everytime you sigh, you shorten your life by a second. It that's true, I'd probably die by the age of forty. And that's not just for me. It's probably the case for most people.

When you're sad, you sigh. When you're happy, you sigh. When you're worried, you sigh. When you're relieved, you sigh..... etc.etc.

Now, I'm sighing because I feel bored.

There's nothing worth doing.

I have no books to read (other than the textbooks on my shelf and they are screaming at me "Leave us alone!"), no one to talk to (that's the thing about staying in a single room), nothing to watch (there's nothing good on tv and my short attention span is preventing me from sitting through a whole movie). --> you can probably deduce that i'm having a rather aimless existence.

In the past 3 days, I have practically lived, breathed and wrote all about sports (i'm actually in the publications subcommittee for the interhall games). This is so unlike my former more well-rounded days before the holidays. Then, I do admit times were rather tough as I struggled to juggle my various commitments - schoolwork, giving tuition, training for squash competitions and the likes of these. It was all a relief when my exams came to an end.... BUT.... right now, I feel a sense of loss.

Like I lack a certain motivation or aim. Whatever I do now, I'm just doing it for the sake of responsibility. How do I find back that passion and drive?

I would like to apologise to my friends and hall mates who are slogging their guts out at every single sports training and matches while all I seem to be doing is complain and complain even more.

Darn. I can't help but feel really useless around here. Maybe I should just f*** off.

[Time of Confession] 10:20 PM
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Monday, December 13, 2004

In Denial

I just got my results. At first glance, I thought I did well.

After some thought, I felt I could get an A for one of the five subjects instead of a B. After more thinking and feedback from one of my faculty mates, I realised my grades seem mediocre compared to those who scored straight As.

Sigh. And he had to tell me that to spoil my day. I'd rather he just let me continue living in denial. Let me be ignorant of how others did and live in the illusion that I actually did well for the exams. After all, there is a chinese saying that there will always be a higher mountain.

Therefore, since I can never be the best, why bother to compare? Right?

Man, I hate exams. No, I hate getting results more.

[Time of Confession] 1:09 PM
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Mixed Feelings

Today's not one of my best days. A few things have happened or are going to happen that have resulted in a mixed array of emotions arising from my limbic system (for the sake of those not studying biology, the limbic system is part of the brain that controls the emotions. hell yea, i'm such a show off).

The day got on with a bad start. I had to drag myself out of bed very unwillingly to go to school for a basketball match. Note that it is a Sunday and there are a million other things I would rather be doing. However, there seemed to be a lack of basketball players and I had to do a write-up on the match as well so, duty calls.

I really detest travelling to school. It's such a hassle having to walk for like 10 min to the nearest train station to take a train, then walk to change to another train, before taking a bus which usually takes forever to arrive. The whole journey itself can take up to 2 hours and it's such a dread. At times like these, I really wish I could drive. Or at least, have someone who's willing to drive me around.

Just when I thought things couldn't get any worser (or worserer as Dick Lee puts it), it had to rain. And of all the types of rain, it had to rain inconsistently. The consequence? We had to wait for like 2 hours plus before deciding that the sky will not clear anytime soon and the match had to be postponed. WTF??!!

Feeling really cheated by the darn weather, I made my way back home (yes, another 2 hours of travelling), only to be greeted by a sudden rush of raindrops from the sky. The drizzle became a downpour and I reached home drenched like a wet chicken. Seriously not in my best mood.

Oh well. But that was before dinnertime. After a nice warm bath and a home-cooked meal, I'm feeling alot better. Besides, did I mention I had one hour of pleasure just staring at the TV? They were showing this Japanese drama on Channel 8 starring none other than...... you guessed it! Hideaki Ito!

That aside, now I'm feeling a little apprehensive. My results will be released tomorrow and I am really not confident of my performance this semester. There were so many distractions nearing the exams, I don't think I was very focused this time round. I'm still crossing my fingers and hoping for the best though... wish me luck.

Meanwhile, I'm going to try to get some sleep. It's my mum's birthday tomorrow and I'm going to spend some quality time with my overworked and underappreciated mummy. Happy Birthday Mum!

[Time of Confession] 1:45 AM
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Saturday, December 11, 2004

When I think of children, I think...

Bittersweet. Ambivalence. Bipolarity.
Still sitting on the fence between the greens of love and hate.

These total opposite feelings quietly arose today when I went to catch a jazz performance by children at the Arts House. As expected, where there are children performing, there are children in the audience.

1. Why I love them children:-
They have amazingly angelic voices when they sing solos that can send shivers down my spine (in a good way). I wish my mum had sent me for vocal lessons when I was younger then maybe I can do more than merely croak at a song. BUT

Why I hate them :-
When the kids sang together, they were practically competing amongst each other who could sing the loudest. The once angelic voices now became so shrill, I thought I was going to go deaf when it came to the high notes.

2. Why I love them children:-
Their innocence and the way they express themselves is simply adorable. Best friend, Grace, and I spotted this cute little girl in the audience, wearing a red jacket with the hood pulled on, dancing and moving along to the music. She looked so sweet and huggable I think I was looking at her "performance" more than watching the musical and chuckling to myself.

Why I hate them:-
When expressing themselves means talking loudly, screaming and kicking my chair during the performance.

So you see, I really cannot make up my mind whether children are likeable.
From my past experiences, they can be really sweet and sugary if they want to. If not, they're really a hell of a nuisance (remember that monster from the ice-skating tragedy?)

[Time of Confession] 11:53 PM
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Friday, December 10, 2004

Me, a Drama Queen?

Apparently YES, according to this quiz!

You are a Drama Queen!

Congratulations, you should win the Oscar for performance of the year!

You're the type of girl who everyone knows - and loves or hates

You always speak your mind, going for a some shock value if necessary

Dramatic, yes - but it also almost always gets you what you want

Find out if YOU are a drama queen!

[Time of Confession] 8:14 PM
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Thursday, December 09, 2004

Umizaru

I promised one night was all I would take to get over the infatuation. I have failed miserably. Well, maybe not miserably, but I have failed.

I am still gushing to my friends about how incredibly good-looking Hideaki Ito is in Umizaru, how astoundingly toned and well-sculpted the muscles on his body are, how amazingly adorable he looks when he smiles - his two front teeth are so big, they make him look like a really handsome chipmunk! He scores a ten upon ten for me anyday. With his impressive allure and sex appeal, he can easily attain Greek god status. He probably fulfills all the necessary criteria except that of being able to speak Greek.

In the midst of all my non-stop exaltation of Hideaki Ito, I think I have not done justice to the movie itself. Hence this blog entry.

Umizaru was a very enjoyable movie. What I would term as a "feel-good" movie. You enter the cinema and out of the 120 minutes, you laugh for 110 minutes, sigh for 5 minutes, gasp and grip your seat tightly for another 5 minutes (and for some, like me, drooled for 120 min).

This movie (if you want to know more about the story, do refer to the review which is linked in the previous blog entry) touches alot on teamwork, courage and a never say die attitude. It is a refreshing experience for us girls who rarely witness the brotherly love and unity displayed among grown men (for the guys, it's probably something deeply etched in the memories of the army days).

In fact, the love of these men for diving and each other, and their desire to become rescue divers takes so much limelight in this movie that the romance between the hunky lead and the lead actress seemed almost superfluous. It was probably just a side distraction to balance up the otherwise very testosterone-driven movie (in terms of masculinity. don't read me wrong here).

For those who are looking for a romantic comedy, I'm sorry but I think you should skip this. There was no more than a 5 sec brush on the lips between the 2 leads. The element of romance and courtship should not be overexpected for Umizaru. However, if you're thinking of a good show to keep you entertained for the whole 120 minutes, this is one not to be missed.

Only showing at Cathay Cineleisure. (this is not an advertisement)

[Time of Confession] 11:53 PM
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Why movies are evil and more...

I'm not going to preach about movies being evil and a bad influence on today's youth because of the violence and promiscuity they promote. We have all heard enough of that crap (ok, maybe not that crappy) during our GP lessons and such. The reason why I say movies are evil is simply and very plainly because : they give false hope.

With specific reference to a Japanese movie I just caught today, Umizaru (directly translates to Seamonkey) , most movies give people the false impression that love is something so simple and rosy. Boy meets Girl. Boy is attracted to Girl. Boy and Girl develops a love-hate relationship. Some kissing and crying. Boy confesses his love. Boy and Girl end up together. Happy ever after.

Movies like these (which i have to admit, i AM a sucker for) are perfect for escapism. Can't find true love in real life? Watch a romantic comedy/ love story and go "Awwwww..."; then come out of the theatre rejuvenated. Inspired. Full of hope - that you will find your soulmate within hours because he could be the next guy who walks into bookstore, coffeehouse, where ever. He could even be the jerk who tries to snatch your taxi.

So, you keep your eyes peeled. You observe every single guy that passes you and go through your mental checklist that was subconsciously created while you were watching the movie.

Tall - Check. Dark - Check. Good-looking with brooding eyes - Check. Megawatt smile and charming personality (if you are able to tell that from a single glance, i take my hat off you) - Check.

And then you realise, should all the points in the checklist be fulfilled, you'd be staring straight at a replica of the male lead as if he walked straight out from the movie screen into your lonely single life.

That's quite impossible, isn't it?

Thus, you fail to find someone like that guy in the movie (you'd exclaimed earlier "he's the perfect kind of guy! the kind of guy i want!") and with deflated hopes, you sink back into your mundane life and whine.

It is the same with me.

But I will not do so much as to look for a Hideaki Ito clone (in fact, i do know of someone that looks ALOT like him. but i never got to know the person. pity). Just let me savour every moment with Hideaki Ito tonight while I sleep. By tomorrow, I shall resume my daily activities and cease the dreaming.

I promise.

Find out more about Umizaru:
The Official Movie Site

Newpaper's Review

[Time of Confession] 1:50 AM
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Hideaki Ito - men in uniforms are just a hell lot sexier.

[Time of Confession] 12:46 AM
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Boy meets Girl in Umizaru

[Time of Confession] 12:45 AM
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Tuesday, December 07, 2004

Lack of Sportsmanship

I am ashamed to admit this, but I think I lack sportsmanship (sportswomanship, whatever). Today, I decided to get off my bum and go down to train with the basketball team (trust me, basketball was NEVER my forte. i do still have that innate fear of getting hit by the ball. it seems gigantic beside a squash ball).

Doing passes, shooting hoops, practising attacks and defences, the whole training stretched way beyond 2 hours. Not only was I achy and felt like my limbs were going to dissolve any moment, instead of perservering on, the only thoughts that ran through my mind were "When is this going to end? When will it be time for dinner? I'm so hungry. I'm so tired.... whine whine whine".

Although I didn't openly show my reluctance to continue with the training, I do feel guilty for habouring such thoughts while training. I mean, any model sportsperson would have immersed herself completely into the sport and concentrated on the game. During which, physical discomfort is often undermined by determination and mental strength.

Sigh. If it's of any consolation to myself, I've been playing quite alot of squash that my left bicep is noticeably larger than my right. Oh yuck, some kind of consolation.

[Time of Confession] 11:15 PM
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Check this out

Kore wa totemo omoshiroii desu yo! Onamae wa?
(This is really interesting! What is your name?)

My japanese name is 中村 Nakamura (center of the village) 歩 Ayumi (walk, deeper meaning: walk your own way).
Take your real japanese name generator! today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.

[Time of Confession] 1:16 AM
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Monday, December 06, 2004

Writer's Block

It's time for another break from blogging cos of a writer's block. I can only think of how much my swollen hand hurts from volleyball and how my left arm is becoming more and more muscular from squash (yuk). If only I knew how to play squash with my mid-driff - maybe then I would have nice abs to show off in those hipster jeans. Hmm....

[Time of Confession] 11:53 PM
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Sunday, December 05, 2004

SPF 120++

I've finally recovered from that persistent flu bug and am all set to face a week of sports and games (goodbye flab! hello tight butt and toned legs)! Now my dear friend, Tresa, has been invaded by an army of viruses and is down with a fever. (Gal, get well soon ya?) Must be the darn weather. Bloody crazy weather. It's scorching like hell (literally) one second, and the next, it's raining like no one's business.

But fret not.

This time, I will be prepared! Here's the routine I'm going to undertake to fend off those mucus-inducing, throat-scratching bugs.

1. Drink lots and lots of water (those gorgeous supermodels say at least 2 litres a day for nice skin!)

2. Slap on sunblock - lots and lots of it. SPF 120 and nothing less. (yea yea, i'm a sunblock freak. but i'm not gonna let pigmentation ruin my life)

3. One redoxon a day, keeps the doctor away - that is, minimum 1g of ascorbic acid intake a day.

4. No unhealthy snacking (chips, biscuits, CHOCOLATES. basically anything heaty. i don't want to put on the weight i've worked so hard to keep off too!)

5. Sleep early and sleep enough (goodbye panda eyes)

I guess these measures should be sufficient.
Watch out buggers!

[Time of Confession] 11:23 PM
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Thursday, December 02, 2004

Rock Bottom

Yes, as my dear friend mookie put it in her tag, the days of excitement are over and very soon, the inter hall games will begin and the bulk of us involved will be stuck in NTU under the blazing hot sun, sweaty, tired..... (and hopefully skinnier too).

But before my holidays are declared OVER, I had to do something fruitful. Something I like. Something that would make my pathetic holiday seem not so pathetic. So, I went ice-skating.

Don't raise your eyebrows. I was a pretty good skater when I was 13.

Those were my hey-days when I would hit the rink with my friends religiously - a few times per week (yeah alot of time and money spent but everyone has their wild days right?).

Right. But that was a whole 7 years ago and 7 years is too damn long to stop doing something and expect to be as good when you return to it again.

7 years! That's like just 3 years short of a decade!

My point is - I'm not that great a skater now.

Anyway, a nervous me was equipped with socks, gloves and a jacket (on top of a 3/4 sleeved shirt. okay i admit, i'm afraid of the cold), together with best friend, Grace, made our way west of Singapore to Fuji Ice Palace successfully, without losing our way (kudos to her superb driving skills and my map reading! and who says girls can't read maps??!!)

Getting onto the ice was probably the hardest part. It was not because my skates were too big and heavy for me, but because I was practically shaking in my pants!

Here I am, a 20 year old girl, hobbling towards the skating rink, fear gripping because.... the skating rink was swarmed with youngsters zooming across like no one's business. Not only were we the oldest around (okay maybe not the OLDEST - there was one uncle zooming around too), we are seriously not THAT good at skating.

Oh well, but being the brave young women we are, we made it into the rink and things went almost perfectly smoothly from there. Like reliving our teenage years, we too, were soon zooming around proudly.

Until an unfortunate accident occurred (personally, i wouldn't have called it an accident. i'm so damn bloody sure that kid did it intentionally!)

Anyway, what happened was, Grace and I were skating side by side happily when all of a sudden, this brat of a kid came in between us with his metal support (you know, those things kids push as they skate so they won't fall on their poor little bums) and just knocked me aside. Trying to maintain my balance, I moved to my right but there was another skater and I didn't want to collide into her. Knocked on my left and wanting to avoid going right, the only other direction I could go to maintain my centre of gravity was DOWN.

Wham bam. Thank you very much. I landed on the hard, cold, and wet ice on my bottom. With my jeans dripping wet, I was cursing the little monster and had to be held back by Grace lest I zoomed over to strangle him. No apologies, nothing from that twit. I still remember him. That monster of a boy in PINK gloves.

I am so distraught by this incident (note i no longer use 'accident') I am thinking of writing in to the authorities or whoever's in charge to ban kids from using the skating rink unaccompanied by a parent. They really should build more skating rinks so we don't have to be terrorized by these little devils - consider having a baby rink, the equivalent of a baby pool, for those who absolutely cannot skate and pose a hazard to poor people like me.

Now you know what rock bottom means. My butt after it hit the ice.

[Time of Confession] 11:45 PM
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Wednesday, December 01, 2004

Total Relief

The curtains have drawn. The stage is clear and what's left is confetti and used banners strewn on the floors of the stadium. I turn off my television set and heave a huge sigh of relief. Taufik won the title of Singapore Idol! (meaning the calls i made weren't wasted! i'm not going to pay 5 bucks for nothing. phew!)

A tinge of sadness is present though.

There won't be much to be looking forward to on Thursdays anymore. No more excitement and bitching over who's going to be out next, who's outfit sucks, who on earth did Florence's hair and what the hell is Douglas O doing in this show (pardon me, but i really think that his presence is insignificant) etc etc. (sigh. my life is going to be so booorrrrriiinnnnnggggg)

Also, despite the fact that I am all for Taufik to win this competition (because 1. he IS a good singer 2. he is versatile 3. he has shown ALOT of improvement 4. he performs consistently well every week), I do feel a little sad that Sylvester didn't win.

I mean, he does have an amazing charm and allure that obviously, teenage girls simply cannot resist. Even I myself, cannot say that I have never been attracted to his cheeky grin. He exudes a very real feeling... he gives a very sincere vibe. However, there are times he overdoes it and that totally puts me off.

Not to worry though. He may not be Singapore Idol (thank goodness for that too. i cannot imagine him speaking to the world idol audiences in broken english), but I'm sure any record company that is out to make money will sign him on to release a chinese album. I have faith that he will make it big in the chinese music industry. And when he does, I will proudly say - Hey, that guy's from SINGAPORE!!

Till that happens, I will say this - people, watch out for Taufik, our very own SINGAPORE IDOL!

[Time of Confession] 11:50 PM
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Who Will Be Our Idol??

This is so exciting! Half an hour to the excrutiatingly long-awaited finals of Singapore Idol! I have already reserved the best seat in the living room (the largest couch) and no one is going to stop me from relishing the next few hours of good music and intense suspense as we find out who's going to be crowned KING! Taufik, Sylvester, don't disappoint me! And let them who say that Singapore lacks talent be put to shame!

[Time of Confession] 7:15 PM
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What Kind of Blogger are You?

You Are a Pundit Blogger!

Your blog is smart, insightful, and always a quality read.
Truly appreciated by many, surpassed by only a few.

What kind of blogger are you?

[Time of Confession] 1:41 AM
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Crying is good

Tonight, I did something I never quite thought I was capable of doing. I cried.

Don't be mistaken. I'm not a cold, emotionless creature. It's just that I've always been someone whom it'll take alot of make me cry. I once told a friend, if someone makes me cry, that person is either really good or really bad. I believed that it would take extremities to make me shed tears. Other than that, my tear glands are non-functional.

A personal problem has been bugging me for quite a while and just as I came to a decision, my mum gave me a piece of her own opinion and advice that sent my mind reeling. She made alot of sense, and yes, I did agree with what she thinks. However, I can't ignore the other factors that she felt weren't important.

On the other hand, my dad has his own opinion and I feel an immense pressure to choose the other decision. And since my parents aren't exactly on talking terms, it's up to me to gather their opinions as well as my own, and generate a conclusion.

Knowing that for sure not everyone will be pleased with the decision I make (there's bound to be someone who's not happy), I can't help but feel a heavy burden thrown on my shoulders to bear. Suddenly feeling helpless, small and burdened, a wave of emotion came over me and I cried.

Being able to cry doesn't make me feel like I've become weaker - in fact, I feel that it is a sign that I have matured.

In the past, when I was faced with troubles, I chose to ignore it, distract myself and make myself feel numb so I wouldn't feel the hurt and hence, didn't cry. But things have since changed.

Being able to cry means facing the problem, acknowledging that it hurts, it's difficult and that being humans, we can only do so much. Coming to terms with our weakness allows us to embrace the problem in a different light - we cannot live alone in this world. We cannot survive on our own. Be it God, friends, family, colleagues, sometime, somehow, we have to depend on external help. We cannot be fully independent. It's the way of the world. Even nature works that way, that's why we have the ecosystem.

Crying is good because it opens the lungs, washes the countenance, exercises the eyes and softens the temper. According to medical research, tears have a complex chemical composition and varies between those of anger and sadness. Hence it is also believed that crying is an effective way of eliminating stress-related substances built up in the body - which is why most people feel better after a good hard cry.

So if today you are feeling stressed and burdened, go ahead and let it out. Don't be afraid to cry. I'm not.

[Time of Confession] 1:00 AM
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