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[C'EST MOI]
living paradox. individualist with anarchistic tendencies.
eludes eminence but appreciates subtle recognition.
capricious yet dependable. clandestine and unfathomable.
cynical realist who succumbs to the occasional idealism.

[J'AIME]
music. films. feasting & drinking. team sports.
good company; family, friends and those who share similar interests.

[CRITIQUES]


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Thursday, March 31, 2005

Indulgence 2

I'm was dying to keep awake to do my endless tutorials when something just perked me up.

"Milk chocolate bar with toffee pieces and a double cream mousse centre on a truffle layer"

I love my creme brulee.

I love Evon even more for giving this piece of heaven to me.

Thanks gal, you're the bestest!

*satisfied grin*

[Time of Confession] 1:31 AM
0 Wisecracks for Me

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Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Visual Fest

Well, it's not exclusive to men that our judgement is based on what we see. Though not always, we women can sometimes be very visual.

For me at least, is true.

And while most men are only inclined to check out the fairer sex (their fragile ego prevents otherwise), I am totally for babe-watching.

Maybe it's because there are more eye-catching women than men around? Correct me if I'm wrong. Better still, if you are a living testimony to your stand, please leave me a message on my tagboard. I will get back to you.

They say men and women have very different tastes on what they perceive as beautiful,


but I'm sure when I say Alyssa Milano is the hottest, most men will agree with me. She's just amazingly stunning and attractive, sometimes I have to stop myself from drooling at her when I watch Charmed.

Then there's the newest hottie in town. Eva Longoria from Desperate Housewives. She has the looks and body to die for which sometimes make you wonder why life is just so unfair.

Closer to home, there's another babe worth watching on tv. Nnadia Chen was the reason I was caught glued to the TV on weekday nights. Her sassy confidence and bright-eyed enthusiasm is so infectious. And her canto-accent, so cute.



Where there are beautiful women to admire, there are also suave and heart-melting men.

Of course, as everyone would know, Michael Vartan is my numero uno. Just check out his brooding stare. Enough said.


And there's Keanu, who everyone complains cannot act. Who cares anyway - he's good enough to just look at for 2 hours. Just for the record's sake, I do think he performs just as well.


He is the reason I'm convinced that men look better as they age. Seriously. You should check out the pictures of his younger days. He looked damn ugly. But now, he just oozes sexiness. And no, I don't think he's an 'uncle'.



[Time of Confession] 11:26 PM
0 Wisecracks for Me

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Monday, March 28, 2005

Mad Rush Sunday

Sunday nights are always a hectic and crazy mad rush for me. And it's always my fault for having been so slack all weekend and only realising that I have mounts to do come Sunday evening. So at the end of each Sunday night, I lay on my bed, exhausted, praying that the panda eyes won't come out to play tomorrow morning, and swear I will do my tasks consistently from Friday to Sunday, to save myself some flurry. But every Friday, without fail, I forget my solemn promise.

So it is with this weekend. The frantic typing away on my dad's laptop to tie up the loose ends for the 3 reports due tomorrow, cursing at my ownself under my breath for sleeping so much (my sis must have been convinced I didn't get to sleep AT ALL while in hall) and the desperate realisation that Mummy can't send me back to hall tonight because her van broke down. Ok. Still cool. Could hitch a ride to school the next morning from dear Evon. Meanwhile, still have time to rush through the reports.

Then Dad had to use the laptop for work.

I feel so unarmed without my laptop! I need to use computer for my work! Then I decided - I had to come back to hall.

Being late as it is, I hailed a cab with my bags full of clothes and books and could only think of how I've been such a pig all weekend. As I looked out the window, I sensed unfamiliarity. I did tell the driver to go to NTU via PIE. But I was not anywhere along or even near PIE. Weird. Why was he driving all the way to AMK then Bishan???

Being the road idiot I am, I silently hoped he was taking some shortcut that would lead to PIE and tried my best to look alert and knowing - lest that uncle dare to bully me by making a big round. Then we somehow ended up at Lornie road, which is a darn dark and quiet road for the weekend night. Fear creeping up on me... but then I vividly remember passing this road - when Evon and I got lost on our way home one day. So the cab eventually got on the PIE (finally.......) and I reached NTU in one piece.

The weekend horrors haven't ended.

As I was finally getting down to work, my friend reminded me that another report was due this Friday. THIS FRIDAY??? WT...??? I thought it was due next monday! Oh no, that's the other assignment!! Dammit. Why do the Profs have to pile on so much work just as we're supposed to be revising for the exams?? And did I mention, there are another 2 practical sessions this week, meaning 2 more lab reports to add on to the load.

School sucks. Big time.

[Time of Confession] 2:08 AM
0 Wisecracks for Me

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Friday, March 25, 2005



My Scary Enlarged Profile Posted by Hello

[Time of Confession] 5:11 PM
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A Wall After Me

I have a wall. And 2 lifts. Well, sort of.

Fi, Huiyan and Jacq are promoting the Global Immersion Programme in NTU for their FYP and I agreed to help by appearing in one of their pictures. The initial plan was that the posters would be placed in the lifts along the north and south spine and wouldn't be as conspicious as Tresa's gigantic poster outside Nanyang Audi (which looks so cute, you just want to pinch her rosy cheeks!!) But to my horror, they've decided to place an enlarged version on a wall. Now I'm living with guffaws and expressions of surprise/shock of my friends who have unwittingly "run into the wall".

There's a big irony behind this wall though. I've actually applied for this programme but failed to make it pass the interview because of several factors I felt were unfair. Well, details can be found in my very first blog entry. Maybe I should secretly scribble the words "... but I never got to go" on the poster. Haha...

Anyway, I'm glad the girls' project went smoothly and I must say they really did a good job (their loser guy of a project mate can just rot) My only regret is how my face looks roly-poly from that angle I swear I see a resemblance to a Teletubby....

[Time of Confession] 4:50 PM
0 Wisecracks for Me

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Thursday, March 24, 2005

Hairy Business

You name it, I've had it.
Long hair, medium hair, short hair. Natural curls, poker straight rebonded hair, permed hair and even Korean roll-straight hair. Virgin hair, coloured hair, highlights.

Come to think of it, I must have spent a fortune on the stringy stuff on the top of my head for the past few years. Jumping from salon to salon (I never seem to be able to find my one destined hairstylist), trying out new techniques and cuts - wanting to look different. Well, I'd better have all the fun I can when I still have something on my head. My only regret is that my hair grows so slowly it always means waiting for ages before I get to go on another hairy adventure.

I went for a haircut today. I've given up wanting to keep it long again and decided it's far more practical to keep my hair as short as possible. It's manageable and versatile. And convenient. So this evening, I went from

this

to this!

The new look still needs some getting used to... (also pardon the fact that I look a little washed out. Had less than 5 hours of sleep and I'm not wearing make-up) and don't you realise how much chubbier I look when there are no bits of hair framing the sides of my cheeks? Oh well... I was born with chubby cheeks. Nothing I can do about it. I can only dream of high cheekbones and chiselled features at night.

Anyway, hair aside, I've made an interesting discovery today. One of my lecturers looks like Keanu Reeves. From where I was sitting, at least. And went he spoke, his voice was deep and mellow - the kind of voice I like. But everything good about him ended there. He lectured with a droning voice (like most Americans do) that me and my friends had to repeatedly pop sweets into our mouths to stop dozing off and drooling all over our notes.

Which reminds me. I need to get back to work......

[Time of Confession] 8:29 PM
0 Wisecracks for Me

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Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Should I Stay?

Had a drive
Driven by your love
But when you messed around
I lost the drive I found

Thought you needed
Needed someone true
But you changed your mind
Or had I failed you?

Wish you'd been
Careful with my heart
But you tore it apart
And broke an angel's heart

The kiss was true
Has to end somehow
But I am livin' proof of what love is about

It's hard holding you
Loving you, losing you
It's sad to be true
And be fooled by you
I don't know (I don’t know)
I gotta know
Should I stay or should I go?

You played me on
Played me like a clown
But I feel for you
Even though I'm down

My heart is heavy
Heavy like a rock
But I am so amused
You're still in my thoughts

It's hard holding you
Loving you, losing you
It's sad to be true
And be fooled by you
I don't know (I don't know)
I gotta know
Should I stay or should I go?

Ooooh...should I stay?
Should I go?

It's hard holding you
Loving you, losing you
It's sad to be true
And be fooled by you
I don't know (I don't know)
I wanna know
Should I stay or should I...?

This time its done
It'll never feel the same
But we had some good times
Guess it's sad just the same

I guess the truth
Doesn't matter somehow
But you were livin' proof of what love is about


Thought the song suited the weather...

[Time of Confession] 6:21 PM
0 Wisecracks for Me

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Monday, March 21, 2005

Slow Mo....

Have been at the library all day but ended up doing nothing much. Despite the fact that I was sitting at the table and staring at my textbook the whole while - I only left my seat to go to the toilet and for dinner. It's exasperating when my efficiency is so low when the number of days between me and the exams are threatening to dissipate into thin air. Suddenly I seemed to have lost all interest in studying.

Maybe I've been distracted with the exchange application. It's the only thing I talk about nowadays. Well, at least I've finally completed all the nitty gritty details in the application and will send it in to my exchange coordinator tomorrow. FINALLY. How could I possible put it off any longer when he said to me "Dear Joy, ASAP of cos!", when I asked when is the latest he needs me to submit the forms and documents. So I will give it to him tomorrow and hope everything else runs through smoothly.

While online searching for course modules this evening, the message "You've got new mail" flashed up almost every minute. Everyone seems to have a question to ask my favourite prof this semester. I guess it's the content of his module. That's what happens when you make a bunch of biology students do physics. We get lost in the many complex equations, ask LOADS of questions and raise MANY doubts. I think he must be swimming in the midst of all the emails sent to him but he still replies them unhesitatingly. Which is one reason why I like him. But really, to have to do 3 practical reports at one go for just one subject is asking a bit too much. *sulk*

Anyway, smart alec me went to email him a question regarding one of my practicals and let's just say I ended up feeling like such a dumb-ass when I read his reply. If it's of any comfort, he said he appreciated the effort.

Better get back to work. At the rate I'm going, I'll probably be done in a decade.

[Time of Confession] 10:13 PM
0 Wisecracks for Me

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Saturday, March 19, 2005

Heaven

I survived a lonesome Friday in hall and am finally back in the comfort of my home. I love weekends. I love coming home to the chattering of my sis, the gaming noises from the tv when my brothers glue themselves to the Xbox, the 'long yan hong zao' (longan and red dates) drink my maid boils for me to drink "because its good for my eyes" and even though my parents are seldom around, the comfort of knowing I'll see them within the next 24 hours and that they're going to fuss over how I've been all week.

Let me immerse myself in some TLC...

Till then....

[Time of Confession] 6:02 PM
0 Wisecracks for Me

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Friday, March 18, 2005

Extraordinary

You think that I go home at night
Take off my clothes, turn out the lights
But I burn letters that I write
To you, to make you love me

Yeah, I drive naked through the park
And run the stop sign in the dark
Stand in the street, yell out my heart
To make, to make you love me

I am extraordinary, if you'd ever get to know me
I am extraordinary, I am just your ordinary
Average every day sane psycho
Supergoddess
Average every day sane psycho

You may not believe in me
But I believe in you
So I still take the trash out
Does that make me too normal for you?

So dig a little deeper, cause
You still don't get it yet
See me lickin' my lips, need a primitive fix
And I'll make, I'll make you love me

I am extraordinary, if you'd ever get to know me
I am extraordinary, I am just your ordinary
Average every day sane psycho
Supergoddess
Average every day sane psycho
Supergoddess

See me jump through hoops for you
You stand there watching me performing
What exactly do you do?
Have you ever thought it's you that's boring?
Who the hell are you?

I am extraordinary, if you'd ever get to know me
I am extraordinary, I am just your ordinary
Average every day sane psycho
Supergoddess
Average every day sane psycho

Average every day sane psycho
Supergoddess
Average every day sane psycho

Average every day sane psycho
Supergoddess
Average every day sane psycho
Average every day sane psycho


I'm so hooked onto Liz Phair's songs it's a blessing my neighbour's not in coz I can't stop singing at the top of my lungs. Could explain for the slightly sore throat I've been having this week. Lalala...

I feel so healthy now. Sticky icky but healthy. Just went jogging around NTU. It's been ages since I last got a workout and the fats were threatening to colonize my tummy area. Now it feels as if they've retreated. 10 points for Joy!

It feels good to have the moist breeze on my skin after 5 hours in front of the glaring computer and having the aircon of the library sucking out the moisture in my skin. I shouldn't stare at the screen any longer lest I go blind.

[Time of Confession] 12:02 AM
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Thursday, March 17, 2005

Spaced Out

Have you been craving for a new blog entry? Well here it is.
It's been as usual for me. Being buried under such a humongous pile of work that it took me 2++ days to crawl out of it and drop a few lines here.

It's been worse than ever. I have 4 lab reports and one graded assignment to do and they are all due around the same time. And it doesn't help that my lab results are so screwed up! Damn the stupid enzyme. I hate enzyme kinetics.

Anyway, I feel a teeny weeny sense of achievement for completing the two 500-word essays for my exchange application. I've FINALLY gotten down to doing it after a whole year of proscrastination. I really really want to go on this exchange badly. Real bad. I'm crossing my fingers that someone in UK also wants to come to NTU as much as I do (oh man. i'll need ALOT of luck for this).

I'm already dreaming of myself in UK... ahhhhh...

Okay, my mask has dried. Time to wash it off and get to bed (and continue dreaming about UK).

[Time of Confession] 12:38 AM
0 Wisecracks for Me

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Monday, March 14, 2005

Double Whammy

It's been a tired and hard day.
Been bugged by the guilt of not doing any of the planned work during the weekend.

And now it's back to school. It's traumatising - changing from the weekend mode back to the nerdy mode. My concentration is feeble and every other thing that moves makes me lose my train of thought. Which is why I was super pissed when this smart alec of a guy happily pranced along and sat right at the table Theresa had reserved for the 2 of us (yes, it's a bit unfair for 2 people to occupy a table for 4 but, first come first served. Besides, we tend to occupy quite alot of space with our notes and texts. And it's not as if there were no other empty seats!!)

So when I reached the library and saw this guy at our table, I thought I'd be generous and share the table. It won't be the first time anyway. I was being nice. I let my frustrations go. But he had to test my patience by talking incessantly with his friends at the adjacent table. Still tried to be nice and cleared my throat. I didn't want to use the ostensible "Shh.." and draw unwanted attention to myself. Not so glam. But he didn't get my hint. Too subtle maybe? Next time I will try to do it louder. Maybe while glaring at him.

The ultimatum was when a friend of his walked by and started talking to him, he actually invited that friend to sit at MY table. The cheek of that guy! Hello, you're sitting at the table at my compliance and you dare to ask someone I don't know to take up more of my space without even asking me??!! Talk about basic courtesy.

Anyway, I couldn't sit there any longer or I'll just end up giving him a black eye. Managed to find a small sanctuary of silence and privacy (read: cubicle) and wished Theresa good luck with the pest. But I wasn't going to abandon her for long. When another santuary was made available, I quickly called her over.

So the rest of the day came and went.

But I'm thankful that my less than perfect day was jazzed up by two pleasant surprises. My student called and told me she got the 2nd highest score for the recent Chemistry test. It just makes you feel wonderful when your effort pays off. Following that, Theresa gave me a chockie - my favourite Kinder Bueno! And of course, I won't forget the very sweet and creative certificate Tresa made for me last week to cheer me up and spur me on (even if it's at the expense of her company's resources!). I'm so heartened by these little gestures that people do to show they care. Thank you all for making my life seem less meaningless =)

[Time of Confession] 11:10 PM
0 Wisecracks for Me

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Sunday, March 13, 2005

Music and Men

No, the topic is not about the things that turn me on. It's two separate issues. I actually typed an entry prior to this on Friday night but just as I clicked on "Publish Post", the page failed to load and the bold words "HTTP 500 INTERNAL ERROR" slapped me right in the face. My entire entry was lost and I did not want to retype the whole long essay about men (french men, to be precise) so I guess I'll talk about it now. Briefly.

So what's the deal about french men? That they're undying romantics? I doubt. To me, french men are men we simply love to hate.

I base my opinion not on my long-time interest, Michael Vartan, but rather, on 2 of my lecturers. I do beg to be pardoned for generalizing but, what are the odds that 2 french men are so alike in mannerism and character? It has to mean something, right?

This coterie of men are stoic, cocksure and swaggering with brashness. That's everything we hate to find in a man. Yet I find that they possess an inexplicable element of attraction. Is it the intrigue of their aloof nonchalance? Or maybe it's how their wry humour tickles the funny bone subconsciously?

The answer is beyond me. But one thing I'm sure of, is that their dressing is definitely NOT part of the implicit allure. Hello, socks with sandals and a shirt not properly buttoned? And I am not developing a schoolgirl crush.

But I must justify that my current french lecturer is one really good teacher. He's responsible and efficient. He's prompt in posting up notes, references and answers to tutorials even though these are not asked of him. He answers every question posted to him via email within the day but one must be careful of asking moronic questions or comments like "Use your common sense" (quoted from one of the mass emails he sent out regarding a question a student asked) will haunt you inverterately.

Music.

I attended the 80th birthday party of one of the greatest jazz legends, James Moody, on Friday night. To be precise, it was the opening performance for the Mosaic Music Festival which happened to be on Moody's 80th birthday. (But there was complimentary cake for every guest! yummy chocolate cake!) It was a splendid repertoire of jazz and bebop tunes and for an 80 year old, Moody sure has alot of energy and spirit! He even added a rap segment into one of the upbeat songs - it's the slowest rap I've ever heard but kudos for the effort! Immersing myself in good music the whole night just made me want to take up playing music again. I'm so inspired to get my own flute and start playing it again. Will go instrument scouting one of these days.

There's something I've gotta complain about that night though. The seats at the concert theatre are terrible. Well, not the seats, but the railings in front of the circles seats blocks the entire view of the stage if you lean back. Try leaning forward for 2++ hours and not sit comfortably in the plush seats. It's takes a hell lot of perserverance and back strength! They should at least have given us a 50% off the ticket prices. Our butts were on half of the chair the whole time.

There's a blues performance this Tuesday night and UBlues will be performing as well, sans Trevor (sigh...). Anyone keen?? I'm seriously lacking companions in this music adventure.

Meanwhile, I need to rest my ears from the loud rock music at Wala last night and get down to my exchange application (Europe, here I come!!!!). Lucky Brandon gets to go on a holiday. I also want...


[Time of Confession] 12:41 PM
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Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Right Advice, Wrong Choice?

Today's a good day for me because I didn't have to go to school. Actually, I was still in school, mugging away in the library, but I was spared of the torture of having to attend lessons at SBS (not the bus company lah. school of biological sciences).

It just zaps all the happiness inside me whenever I walk into that cold building - there's nothing that I look forward to at all. I don't have many friends in my faculty (as I've said many times, everyone's pretty much a mugger there) and it really puts me off to see a stressed look on every face I meet. It's so darn competitive and stifling there that I've lost the passion and interest in my work since I don't know when. Shouldn't learning be something enjoyable and enriching? Then why is it that I feel like it's such a cut-throat environment there where no one really bothers about you unless you are the rare top 1%, which unfortunately ONLY includes the PRC scholars.

Sometimes I wonder if my mum was right. Since my secondary school days, she's looked upon my choice of subjects with disdain - she's always wanted me to do arts and humanities like literature but I stuck to doing science. She kept saying that I'm not cut up for science and am more inclined towards the arts. I did like to write (and still do) and would draw to past time. But I could never picture myself not studying science. I loved it. It was my passion. The arts were more of a hobby.

Still, I carried on with my choice, taking triple science all the way till college. And as I got busy with my other activities, my grades slipped and my mum actually suggested that I stop school and enrol in LaSelle to study art and design. "That's what you should do. You're the arts person, not the science person." she would say. But I never took her words to consideration. I was too angry with her for not being supportive to sit down and think of the alternative possibilities.

So I studied really hard for my A levels and got really good grades. I think that convinced her that I can do well, if I wanted to. So she stopped asking me to go into arts.

Then it was time to choose a course in the university. I've always wanted to study veterinary medicine and without informing my parents, I went ahead to apply for all the 4 australian universities that offered the course. I was crossing my fingers that my scholarship application for the course would be successful. Alas, I got a place in all 4 unis but a rejection letter for the scholarship. I finally told my parents about my applications with the hope that they might be able to finance my overseas education but I had reached a dead end. My parents simply couldn't afford it (that's the thing with having so many children. there's never enough to go around).
I was devastated.

So I just chose the next closest thing and started to create a nightmare for myself. Maybe if I had listened to my mum and went into arts I'd be enjoying myself at school. I would look forward to lessons and I will take more pride in my work.

But I guess there no room for "what ifs". I just gotta try to make the best of the current situation.

[Time of Confession] 10:31 PM
0 Wisecracks for Me

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Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Babble Blabber Prattle Tittle-tattle Yak

I'm not acting cute with baby talk. Believe it or not, those are actually words from the English dictionary! The thesaurus is my trusty tool. I just type in babble and out comes a whole list of words that mean the same thing and sound just as crappy.

I'm in a crappy mood.

Everything I do just doesn't seem right nor feel right.

Other than the fact my stomach is growling like crazy (even after yogurt and cherry tomatoes), the oppressive pressure from being behind schedule is driving me nuts. I've just realised that in the midst of undertaking so many responsibilities, I've developed an Achille's heel. I can't give my best effort in the things I do, because my attention is being spread over so many areas. I simply don't have the energy to make sure that everything I do is to my utmost potential. And it's devastating when the consequences get thrown straight back at me.

Today I got back a written assignment. I got a C. My good friend got an A. The innate desire to want to be as good or even better than others was gnawing at me but I tried hard to ignore it. I reasoned with myself - why did I not get an A as well?

The answer was flat simple. I was rushing to finish it so I could get on with my other stuff and being the impatient me, I probably didn't figure out the mechanisms of the reaction in detail and merely breezed through, hence making significant mistakes. I sighed and wished I made more effort for it. And my other lab reports. But this will be at the expense of my other tutorials, my students' lessons and my beauty sleep. Worth it?

Now with 2 pending lab reports, and a couple more coming in the week, the weekly tutorials, my study schedule, the exam preparations for my 3 students, it isn't fair that I'm only getting 16 hours a day, minus my much needed 7 hours of sleep and 1 hour of tv.

I'm going to apply for a scholarship for an exchange programme to Europe next year. I hope it works out - then I'll be able to get away from all the woes. Even if it's only for 4 months. Just let me leave and give myself my deserved time alone.

[Time of Confession] 11:05 PM
0 Wisecracks for Me

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Sunday, March 06, 2005

Shopaholic and Me

It's been a hell of a weekend. Not entirely in a bad way - it's been eventful. But now I'm left to nurse a throbbing head (due to lack of rest and stress) and the anxiety that I have not touched any work at all.

Here's an account of my very hectic but enjoyable weekend:-

Friday: Was indulging in shopping and chocolate chip cookies. See previous post.

Saturday: I taught 2 lessons in a row - starting from 8.30am. The sleepless night the day before didn't help me at all. However, what kept me through it was pure determination. No, that's a lie. I just had to remind myself that once I get through, I'd be $80 richer. That did it for me.

Met Evon after the lessons to catch Ray (FINALLY!!) and we were damn lucky because I think they're going to stop screening the movie already (this is how long it took for us to watch it!) so the show we caught was probably the only and last afternoon screening.

Anyone who hasn't yet watched the show, what the hell have you been doing?!! The show is superb and is a MUST-WATCH! Especially for people who dig blues/jazz and whatever good music should never miss this. Never. Ray Charles Robinson is a true music genius and hero. Jamie Foxx is almost as big a hero for portraying the role so convincingly.

The music was so good my legs ached at the end of the movie from all that tapping and I almost stood up to applaud when I remembered I was watching a movie and not a concert performance.

Today: No, I didn't go out with Sophie Kinsella. Neither did I shop till I dropped like she usually does. The irony is, I left home with just my bag in my hand and came back with plentiful. I got the thrill of rummaging through racks upon racks of clothes and shelves upon shelves of shoes and did not burn a hole in my wallet at all. Is it window shopping - you must be wondering. But it isn't. So what exactly went on today?

I went on a sponsored shopping trip.

I am grinning at myself silly as I'm typing.

It's been a whole long day of indulgence and pampering. It's so damn fun to be out with my aunt cos she's really one cool aunt. She's the epitome of a modern woman - she's got a successful career, she's independent and she gets to spend what she earns in anyway she likes! And I am one lucky girl because I get to be her niece!

Because of her petite size, I get loads of nice clothes from her that she buys but never wears or she no longer wants. That's alot of shopping money saved for me. Go on, envy me.

1pm - Steak at Jack's Place for lunch.
My aunt took my cousin and I out for a celebratory lunch - my cousin did really well for her O Levels: 7 points! *applaud*
Heavy set lunch = 1 week of low calorie diet down the drain. But I don't really care. Was lucky to be wearing a loose fitting boat neck tee so that the bulge after lunch remained hidden.

2.30pm - Shopping at Tangs
We headed to town for some shopping. It was supposed to be window shopping for me because I felt the pinch on my wallet after Friday's indulgences. But I got a pleasant surprise from my aunt. She gave me a $100 voucher to spend. (PS: She also gives her clients little incentives like vouchers. So if any of my friends out there who are keen to start a savings plan or to invest in insurance, you might want to consult my superb aunt. I already did! Just drop me an SMS!)

I was actually kind of at a loss. I had no idea what to get because there wasn't anything I really needed. I saw a really nice jacket at Peace Angel but splurging all 100 bucks on just one jacket wasn't that worth it to me. Then I was deciding whether I should get a nice t-shirt from FCUK. But I don't wear T-shirts alot either. So I ended up..... at the cosmetics counter.

As usual. Like what Joanne once said about me - I don't spend much on clothes but I splurge on personal care products. Well, who doesn't want to look pretty? I ended up spending everything at Biotherm. And because it totalled to $120, I got a complimentary shoulder bag (which is really pretty) and a whole set of Biotherm products. Talk about value for money. Woohoo!

And before I got all my stuff, I was playing fashion consultant to my cousin who was on a gigantic shopping spree. It was Levi's then FCUK then Peace Angel. Lucky girl!

4.30pm - Dessert at Haagen Daaz
Need I say more? Heavenly....

5.30pm - Shoe Shopping at Scotts
We were supposed to be making our way back already but my aunt had to stop by Hue to check out their shoes. The collection there is what I call high-end shopping. She ended up with more shopping bags and since my cousin hadn't gotten her shoes, we went over to JWest where the 3 of us ended up buying the same pair of shoes!! Sounds crazy but like my aunt said, it's not as if we'd wear it out together.

7pm - Home and Mad Rush
Had to pack my stuff, print my notes (which I have not finished printing. no time!!!) and lug all my textbooks (which I didn't get to use at all this weekend. bummer) back to hall. Now my headache's worse and I've got tons of work I've yet to start doing. Urghh...
Why does my nice day have to be spoilt like that?

I miss home already.

[Time of Confession] 8:43 PM
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Friday, March 04, 2005

Indulgence

The big question remains unanswered.

Is indulgence a sin?

That actually depends on the thing a person derives the pleasure from. I mean, if one indulges in the finer things in life like wining and dining, the only ill-effect is probably the sinking feeling when the credit card bill arrives at the end of the month. But that should not be a problem, since if you can afford to indulge in quality wines and gourmet cuisines, the term 'filthy rich' should be a familiar term other people associate with you.

Then we have the other end of the spectrum. Indulging in detrimental activities. Smoking, drinking, excessive pigging out, and even sex. Yes, sex. Apparently Robbie Williams indulged so much in it he got addicted and had to go for rehabilitation.

Whatever it is, one thing for sure is that luxuriating yourself is gratifying. I feel gratified today.

Went to JP this morning after a really short lecture with Evon to shop for her groceries and assessment books for my students. I ended up back in hall with bags upon bags of shopping. Maybe not THAT many bags, but it was definitely unintended spending.

Ah well, I can deal with the guilt because 1. The sale is still on. Big savings! 2. I haven't shopped much lately. I think. 3. I've started financial planning so I'm forced to save money consistenly 4. A little indulgence after a hard week's work should be encouraged, right?

So let's take a peek at my little indulgences:


I've got this thing for skirts lately. Especially those pleated or frilly ones that show off my nice calves but hide the thighs. All those sports have made them muscular!! I want nice, thin legs! Boohoo...

Anyway, the grey skirt on the left reminds me of a trendy schoolgirl skirt with the front pleats. And what I like about it is that it's versatile. It looks fine for casual wear yet also fits perfectly with a crisp white shirt and a jacket for the corporate look.

The black skirt is so pretty! Simple love the light pink satin ribbon across the mid-length. I tell you, this is the non-topical equivalent of an anti-ageing cream. Wearing it just takes the years off! And the best thing? It was on sale and costs only $23.95.


This is pure indulgence. The whiff of the cookies baking were irresistable. The first time I walked passed the shop, I told Evon that I had a craving for Famous Amos cookies, but then decided against buying it because 1. it's heaty 2. it's not cheap 3. it's fattening 4. it's fattening.

So I took a deep breath instead, taking in all of the yummy aroma (to indulge my sense of smell) and walked on. (Joey once said that all the taste of the food lies in its smell, so when Chandler took a whiff at his sandwich, Joey yelled and made him un-whiff it. Hmm...)

5 minutes later, I was back at the shop asking for a 100 grams of Premium Choice cookies. I blame my poor self-control. I think the weakness is in my olfactory. Next time I want to abstain from yummy food, I'd better hold my breath instead.

[Time of Confession] 2:32 PM
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Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Nerdothology

It's a new subject they teach in school.
They have Level 1 for beginners - Losing the Slacker and Understanding Nerdothology.
Then there's Level 2 with deeper coursework - Fundamentals and Principles of Nerdothology.
And of course, for the master nerds, there's Level 3 - Nerdy Etiquette and Applications of Nerdothology in the Workplace.

I'm currently a Level 2 student - and don't laugh because I'm not joking.

I've been to the library for disciplined study-time (no walking around my room, playing with the hamsters or web surfing in between reading each page of my notes) for 2 consecutive days and it feels as if the exams are insidiously creeping up on me. It's scary, I know, like I'm some hardcore mugger. But I'm not. Trying to be one, but I really am far from it.

Anyway, nerdy me was glad to have the company of dear Theresa and Tresa today (funny, it's always during the exam periods that we tend to hang out more together) and I must say that I really admire Tresa for her great chameleon skills, blending in with the people studying even though she's as free as a bird (on IA!!! i also want!!!) - she looked serious and deep in concentration..... with Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. Heehee... (but I really appreciate her being there giving us moral support!)

My tutor just thought he'd make us suffer more than we already are and posted tomorrow's tutorial not very long ago. Either he's deriving pleasure from our trauma (like chuckling to himself when he sees our 100-ton eyebags tomorrow in class) or he thinks too highly of us. I hope it's the latter.... if so, I'd better not disappoint and get started on it.

[Time of Confession] 11:00 PM
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Tuesday, March 01, 2005

What I Really Need...

I have snapped out of the dreamy state of mind and that longing for some romance. The effects of romantic movies are easily undermined by the harshness of reality. With a whole list of things waiting to be done, I haven't got the energy to daydream and wonder when Mr. Right is going to come by.

I'd say what I really need is TIME and MONEY. But of course that doesn't fill in the little voids in my single (I must add, also carefree and happy) life. Especially frustrating sometimes is when I can't find company that shares the same interests.

Like last Friday, my friends asked me out to Wala but I wasn't in the pubbing mood - I badly wanted to catch a movie. I took out my phone and started to scroll my phonebook and I realised I have no one to call. Well, not exactly no one, but I wasn't confidant that any of my friends would be free to accompany me on such a short notice.

Sent out a few SMSes but most already had plans (of course. it was a Friday evening). Tried to fit into a friend's schedule but failed. I was exasperated. And peeved. I really wanted to catch a show.

Alas, thank God for good friends like Joanne, Theresa and Tresa who were so sporting to join me for the movie without hesitation and rescued me from my misery.

Sometimes I know my friends don't mind attending a concert, performance or joining some activity with me, but it makes me feel bad if they weren't really interested in the first place. And when they end up not enjoying themselves due to the lack of interest, my enthusiasm would be dampen by guilt - like I have wasted the precious time of my friend. It's a lose-lose situation.

Unless, of course, my friend actually takes an interest to the activity, that would be most ideal, but more often than not, it only occurs in a million chances and I'm not willing to risk my friend's 'happiness'. So I end up not doing it at all.

I could really do with a companion (or companions) who I can hang out with and just do stuff that WE like together. Irregardless of sex. But it seems everyone's always so busy.

Me included.

[Time of Confession] 10:09 PM
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