[C'EST MOI]
living paradox. individualist with anarchistic tendencies.
eludes eminence but appreciates subtle recognition.
capricious yet dependable. clandestine and unfathomable.
cynical realist who succumbs to the occasional idealism.
[J'AIME]
music. films. feasting & drinking. team sports.
good company; family, friends and those who share similar interests.
The weekend flew by like it never came and it's back to the first day of the week - indicative to start singing the blues.
Sometimes I think it's a good thing to be strapped for time. For one, it definitely makes me feel more useful and my efficiency level increases exponentially. Come to think of it, the number of things I managed to do this weekend is probably 3 times of what I did the past few weekends.
I worked my ass off(okay, maybe not so much... there was web surfing and chatting in between) from Friday to Saturday evening, caught some motor action while at it, went to Timbre to listen to Ublues, went to church on Sunday morning, shopped for books and cds, spent quality time with my sister, cleaned my room, did more than an hour of ironing, did my study planner, cleaned my room (hostel) and finally got some sleep last night.
Phew.
Took a whole load of pictures this weekend and they are all uploaded on multiply. Also attempted to do a video of Ublues in action, only to realise that the camera doesn't do sound videos!!! Anyway, iVideo is so easy to use and I merged 3 videos into one but due to the size, the uploaded version is tiny and dark. Not a very successful attempt at video-ing but I'll work on it. Maybe its time to save up for a a good video/digital camera!
I need to get back to studying for a quiz. I can feel momentum picking up and the rising of stress levels, but I'm praying for the strength to keep up with the crazy hours of studying and cramming, and to maintain peace in spite of the situation.
It's going to be a productive and fruitful week!
[Time of Confession] 5:46 PM 0 Wisecracks for Me
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Sunday, March 26, 2006
Metal + Music =
No, metal and music doesn't equate to heavy metal music.
It basically just sums up my day.
I spent yet another day in school, doing up my endless lab reports like I did the night before. I stayed in school till about 2am with Tresa and the girls last night and I was surprised that we weren't the only ones working hard.
One of my lecturers was still working and was getting a caffeine boost when we were just leaving. Oh yes. It's the same lecturer, Mr. Hitler, that so many of us abhored when he taught us Neurobiology last semester.
He's taking a few lectures for Cancer Biology this time around and he seems to have toned down a bit on the sadism. Good for him! Now all he needs is to loosen up a bit and not work so hard. Hello, 2am? On a Friday night? You need a life! Oh well, who am I to judge... I was in school at that time too. Bleah.
So anyway, we were in school today and it so happened that NTU decided to do something happening, for a change. The students organized a motor fest at the open space right outside my school building and guess who got to admire all the well-sculpted metal bodies?
Then after much squealing and raving, we managed to get back to doing some work before I left for home to put down my barang and get ready to hit Timbre for blues.
Was rather disappointed that alot of the friends I asked weren't going to turn up, but I managed to get my cousin to join me and it was fun hanging out, catching up and talking about politics (which is so not my thing because I choose to shun it... but it was interesting to learn more tho) and enjoying the music.
Yes, the music. The band started off with slower numbers which almost carried me to lala-land (didn't get much sleep again last night) but a few good, upbeat tunes quickly got me hyped up. The highlight of the evening must have been when Trevor (lead singer and guitarist) sat behind the drum set and played away! Talk about being multi-talented! Danny didn't compromise either - he picked up the bass and did some really good plucking. Awesome. Tonight's playing was really different from the other times I've heard the band play. They were spontaneous and having so much fun, it was enjoyable to watch them. Probably their earlier gig at NUS started a flame which fanned into a bigger fire at Timbre.
Gosh. It's already close to 5 am. Means I'll be getting less than 3 hours of sleep before I need to get up again.
The vicious cycle never ends.
I want to listen to more Ublues....
[Time of Confession] 3:57 AM 0 Wisecracks for Me
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Saturday, March 25, 2006
Anatomical Obsession
[Time of Confession] 12:23 AM 0 Wisecracks for Me
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Friday, March 24, 2006
Vendredi
I'm sitting at a table in my school's resource room, attempting to start AND finish an entire Computational Biology (pui!) report by tonight.
I'm quite amazed actually. I only had about 5 hours of sleep last night on top of the less than 8 hours every night for the past few days, and I managed to survive the 2 hour lecture this morning and the 2 tutorials thereafter.
I'm still alive and awake with no caffeine at all!
My strength comes from the Lord.
It's been a really fast paced week and I'm starting to feel the mood of the exams already. The time of the year I totally cut myself off from the activities I love. Watching tv, movies, shopping, hanging out with friends, drinking at good pubs, SLEEPING are all traded in for long hours in air-conditioned study rooms, turning into a shrivelled prune, putting on weight while munching on snacks, walking around the school in the dead of the night and appreciating its emptiness (which is so very rare these days).
Come to think of it, this is the second last time I'll have to go through this. I can't wait to graduate and start the next chapter.
Getting excited and scared all at the same time, meeting new people, making new friends, facing new challenges, adapting and being satisfied once everything works out.
Ooh... it's going to be great!
[Time of Confession] 6:15 PM 0 Wisecracks for Me
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Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Mid Week Restlessness
It's the day that is neither near the start of the week nor is it close to the weekend.
There are two ways to look at it. 1. This sucks cos there aren't many hours left to do enough work for the entire week to be justified prolific. What have I been doing the past few days? (Two, to be exact)
2. It's great cos there are still 2 days before the weekend. At least I have SOME time, even if not much, to buck up.
I'll take no. 2, thank you very much.
One of my so-called resolutions at the start of the year (I don't usually make any.. well...) was to choose to be happy. In all situations, no matter how difficult, in spite of all the shittiness the world and its people can fling at me, I will choose to be happy.
I need to remind myself that there's so much more to life than just pursuing secular aspirations.
It does bug me a little that I'm not stressed at all this semester, despite the fact that it's less than a month to the exams. We humans are so weird... when we're so bogged down under the extreme pressure that threatens to break us pieces, we cry out and wished that we could have that stress-free life. When things lighten up, we worry that we're taking things too easy and we SHOULD be feeling a little bit more tension.
So what exactly is it that we want?
I guess it all boils down to insecurity.
But at least I know these things are not in my tiny human hands but in the big, sturdy hands of God. That's enough for me.
I've been having many vivid and somewhat disturbing dreams lately. Two nights ago was about some plaque that hit the country and killed masses of people, and last night I dreamt about this big wave or storm (possibly a tsunami) that crashed into the large, seaside estate that I resided in. And then I got held at gunpoint by a corrupt policeman.
I wonder if these dreams signify anything.
Well, it's the mid-week. That means another 3 more nights of dreams to come. Possibly. Probably by the end of the week I can put them all together and piece the hidden message.
I should start a dream journal. Actually, I have. But the habit died after many late appointments because I had a hard time putting those images into words before I brushed my teeth in the morning.
Dum dee dum...
Was so glad to hear from Grace (NZ) and Grace (US). It always feels like they're heaven-sent angels whenever I get calls like these. It's amazing how timely the calls always are - when I'm feeling a bit blah or just when I need someone to talk to (so that I know I can still communicate with people...there are days when I probably speak less than a 100 words? oh gosh, I'm like a man...haha).
Really miss you girls!
[Time of Confession] 5:35 PM 0 Wisecracks for Me
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Saturday, March 18, 2006
3 reasons
I'm home. Scruffy and unkempt. Tired from the chores and exhausted from being mad at my pig brothers for not lifting a finger to help.
I'm exasperated at their lack of spontaneity and vexed at myself for not wanting to nag and for waiting expectantly for some initiative on their part.
It's not just them.
Apparently we no longer live in the age where people have this internal conscience and sense of responsibility. I seem to be hearing it from everyone. 'You have to ask what...' or 'If you didn't say anything, you can't blame them...'
So what, now suddenly everyone has been reduced to a mere machine without brains and they only way you're ever gonna get anything from them is to press some button or key in some commands? Is it now a crime to expect something without asking for it?
WTH.
And now, I have a bugging desire to hit the stores, go out, drink and listen to Ublues.
I remember a guy friend wondering aloud: Why on earth do girls love shopping so much and can seem to ever get enough of it? His own girlfriend made him tag along numerous shopping trips and it seems like he still hasn't gotten it.
Like many other guys.
Well, it may vary from lady to lady, but I reckon most people are able to relate to the reasons I'm going to give.
From my own point of view, here's why most women love shopping more than anything else.
1. It empowers us.
After all the shit we get from the boss, the sucky colleagues, the family, the loser friends or the jerk boyfriend, the feeling of oppression is almost unbearable but we are unable to just explode and scream at everyone for the risk of losing our jobs or loved ones (we hate conflict and avoid it like plaque. even if it means swallowing down the shit).
So we go shopping to remind ourselves that, indeed, I'm still the boss. Of my own bank account and dough at least.
With THE card at hand, we've become queens in our own right. We have the power of choice - what to buy and in which colour; we're finally being paid some attention - being fussed over by the nice sales staff ; and for once, it feels okay to reject someone -'No thanks. It doesn't fit me well'.
Try saying something like to your boss about your latest assignment.
2. It keeps us updated.
Guys think it's silly to follow the latest trends and jump on the bandwagon like blind mice every time a new fashion heatwave hits town.
Indeed, many women fail to make informed decisions about following the lastest fads and tailor them according to what is suitable for the individual. I'm not saying that we need to keep up with times by buying whatever's on the 'What's hot' list in the latest Elle mag.
But knowledge is power: by going out shopping (with or without swiping the card), we are observing trends and are taking in the changes. We'll know when lace is in, and when it's out. We know when purple becomes the new black and when nude is the new white.
What for, you ask.
The same reason why guys are surfing soccernet for the scores in the latest leagues. It never makes sense to the opposite sex but it makes plenty of sense to the same sex. Maybe it's passion. Maybe it's for conversation starters. I don't know and I doubt we'll ever figure it out completely.
3. It's good exercise.
Okay, it sounds crappy but take this, for many women, shopping is about the only exercise they get. Of course there are the sporty ones out there (ahem..) but even so, it's hard to find other like-minded and atheletic women to engage in the activities (tell me about it).
So unless one is contented with boring exercise routines like jogging or gym-ing, shopping is probably the best choice. And unlike tennis, squash, or basketball, you can actually do it alone. How convenient.
I hope the message got across clear and many guys are going 'Ohhhhhh...' as they read this entry.
I now feel extremely justified to put on my shoes and head to the nearest mall.
[Time of Confession] 4:38 PM 0 Wisecracks for Me
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Thursday, March 16, 2006
Wow wow wee
Those are the three words I have after watching the Pat Metheny trio (which, by the way, is pronounced at meh-thi-nee instead of meh-thur-nee. now i know).
Pat Metheny is a brilliant musician and so is the rest of his trio. Christian McBride kicks ass on his double and electric bass while Antonio Sanchez is akin to an unstoppable octopus on the drum kit (he played the hi hat, wood block and tambourine all with only ONE foot!!!).
The concert started with a beautiful acoustic solo by Metheny on his baritone guitar. It was a pretty long piece but I didn't get the singlest bit restless at any point because the melody progressed in such a story-like way, from simple plucking to the more emotionally intense strumming. It was like watching a movie without an image. Ironic, but it certainly felt that way.
Anyway, he must have brought along a whole truck of guitars from where he came coz he changed one almost every song! He had this really large guitar which had a few more sets of strings on it (one sounded alot like a zither) and they made fantastic accompaniments to his guitar playing. Another octopus in the making.
The 'Pikasso; with 4 necks, 2 sound holes, 2 access doors and took 2 whole years (approximately 1000 hours) to build!!
The trio's performance wraps up my Mosaic experience for the year. Hopefully there'll be many more acts the next time round. One of a larger scale that our little country can boast of; we need more talented artistes to come and show us what good music and improvisation is all about! Save us from trashy music!
La di da... meanwhile, need to beat the craving for more blues @ Timbre and focus on my work... boo.
[Time of Confession] 3:59 PM 0 Wisecracks for Me
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Tuesday, March 14, 2006
DNA Personality Test Results
Your solid grounding in the practicalities of life, along with your self-assuredness and your willingness to appreciate new things make you a LEADER.
You're in touch with what is going on around you and adept at remaining down-to-earth and logical.
Although you're detail-oriented, this doesn't mean that you lose the big picture.
You tend to find beauty in form and efficiency, as opposed to finding it in broad-based, abstract concepts.
Never one to pass on an adventure, you're consistently seeking and finding new things, even in your immediate surroundings.
Because of this eagerness to pursue new experiences, you've learned a lot; your attention to detail means that you gain a great deal from your adventures.
The intellectual curiosity that drives you leads you to seek out causes of and reasons behind things.
Your confidence gives you the potential to take your general awareness and channel it into leadership.
You're not set on one way of doing things, and you often have the skills and persistence to find innovative ways of facing challenges.
You are well-attuned to your talents, and can deal with most problems that you face.
Your independent streak allows you to make decisions efficiently and to trust your instincts
You have a strong sense of style and value your personal presentation - friends may even seek your style advice from time to time.
Generally, you believe that you control your life, and that external forces only play a limited role in determining what happens to you.
You are Encouraging
Your outgoing nature, understanding of others, and directness make you ENCOURAGING.
You want others to do well for themselves, and you generally believe in their abilities.
You often know what's good for people because of your caring nature and your worldview.
When you care about someone, you don't keep it to yourself: you are good at letting people know that you're thinking of them.
Because you trust people, you take violations of that trust very seriously.
You thrive in large groups of people, and even though you know who you like and who you don't like, you can interact well with many different types of people.
You have a healthy respect for people who have earned what they have, and you strive to be similar to successful others.
You are a loyal friend, and a good listener.
[Time of Confession] 1:42 AM 0 Wisecracks for Me
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Monday, March 13, 2006
Blues blues blues
It's already Tuesday but my calendar's still stuck at the weekend.
It still feels like it hasn't ended. School was a blurry, shadowy episode all day. Woke up late, rushed like mad, and sat in a computational lab session with absolutely no clue about what I was doing with the molecule on the screen.
What can I say? The weekend made such an impact.
Von and I caught the very accomplished jazz pianist, Bob James and his trio - of which Nathan East and him are half of the famous group Fourplay! I had no idea! It's a pity our seats weren't exactly that strategic - the clearest view we had of Mr. James was nowhere near his tinkering fingers. Just a floating head cos the rest of him was blocked completely by the very large grand piano. But at least the drummer, Lewis Pragasam, right in front of us was an awe to watch. If I ever attempted the drums the way he did, I'd have all my hands and legs horribly entangled.
What a thought.
I was most impressed by Nathan East when he did the 'shooby dooby doo' while he plucked his bass, and the range of his whistling was astonishing. He didn't even go out of tune for the high notes! I can't even whistle a note. *hides in shame*
Some of the jazz numbers were kinda slow and dream-like they carried my thoughts into another dimension. When I get too engrossed in the music, my mind starts to stray and I daydream about something the song reminds me of. So when I seem quiet while I'm listening to music, you know that I'm just enjoying myself.
I managed to get Von and Andy to join me at Timbre cos Ublues was performing with a special guest. It makes me extra happy to be able to share my favourite music experiences with my best friends. It's like letting them into an important part of my life and showing them a differnt side of me. Good music is meant to be shared anyway =)
Then after much of a personal struggle with decision-making, I made the choice to abandon my unfinished Developmental assignment for the night and hop on the train down to the Esplanade where I saw Paul Ponnudurai and Ublues take on the weekend crowd at the Nokia Music Station. It was burning good music there I tell you. They definitely stirred up some groovin' and funky blues! I swear even the aunties and uncles were bouncing up and down in their seats.
It was totally worth being a bad student for one night.
I can almost drool thinking of the music again.
But one night is enough for this week. Somehow I have a bad feeling everyone's beginning to start mugging for the exams already, while I'm still on cloud nine and singing the blues. Someone please tell me I'm just being paranoid?
[Time of Confession] 10:57 PM 0 Wisecracks for Me
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Saturday, March 11, 2006
The weekend that hasn't ended
It's been a pretty eventful week thus far. Not outta-this world kind of happening, but compared to the usual typing away at the computer or burying my nose in tutorials weekly affair, the week has been amazingly eventful and it hasn't even ended yet.
The first ever SBS (School of Biological Sciences) day was on Tuesday.
Honestly, I've never been active in any of the faculty's activities. Unless exams count. I'm always in my comfortable clique and just like any other, ours is rather isolated from the rest of the students. It also doesn't help that a large majority of my batch of students are especially interested in getting As and are somewhat reticent. Up till now, I don't even know everyone in my tutorial class. And we've been attending the same classes since Year 1. It's crazy, isn't it?
Von and I decided we should give each other as well as our schoolmates, a chance to mingle around and make things a little better than they are. I can't say that I'm utterly disappointed with the outcome, cos although there was minimal mixing around - the socializing we got was still good. At least it wasn't those fake small talk with all the pretenses that I absolutely abhor.
One of the highlights: my professor singing an Indian song... and my vice dean exhibiting his vocal prowess! (Note that they may be smart-ass scientists but no one is perfect. They still need the lyrics sheet) Hanging out with the guys after the BBQ
In fact, by the end of the night, we were both glad we made the decision to come, despite missing AA and Grace alot.
The Colours Award Board Ceremony was on Wednesday night. I thought I'd be warming the seat this time coz I didn't participate much due to my lab commitments but was pleasantly surprised when I received the "Long Service Award". It then dawned upon me that my 3rd IHG was already over.
Time really flies.
There is a tinge of regret not being able to play softball and hockey this year - two of my favourite sports that I fell in love with during my first two years. It won't be the same again next year when Tresa graduates. It's just sad how one by one, your friends and companions leave. Hopefully I'll be able to take some time off my FYP next year to play a few good games before I graduate coz I'll probably never get the chance to play these sports again thereafter.
Happy Tresa with her new personalized basketball!
I got my new glasses yesterday and turned from 'nerdy' <-- according to Jack to 'nicer, for now' <-- according to Tresa
I was at Bugis yesterday after collecting my glasses and was on my way to meet Theresa in town when I stopped in my tracks to admire the new DKNY watch collection. I was gazing longingly at the window display when someone approached me out of the blue. This young lady started talking to me in Mandarin and asked me where I got my Timberland bag cos she thought it was nice and wanted to get it for her boyfriend. I was amazed that my conversational Mandarin was still somewhat comprehensible even though I had to pause at times to translate my English thoughts to Chinese. Turned out she's from KL and was here for a seminar in town. I was actually running a bit late but she was so friendly and sincere, I couldn't bear to cut her off. So we chatted for a while and exchanged contacts - it was so nice of her to offer to take me around if i ever visited KL.
It's the first time I've ever made friends with a stranger in the streets just like that. I'm still not 100% comfortable with it. Not that I'm antisocial or overly suspicious, there are just too many horror stories of victims getting conned/robbed/harmed by people they just got to know. And it's worse being a girl. Girls are so much more vulnerable - and this sometimes makes me wish I was a boy. Which is why I just don't get why some men think otherwise, and prefer to be women.
It's my first mature-theme movie and I was expecting to get my ID checked. Everyone thinks I don't look 21 and even I can't convince myself that I'm turning 22 this year. My new friend actually thought I was 17.
Anyway it was a good thing I wasn't denied entry because the show was a blast. Light-hearted and vivacious with an astounding performance by Felicity Huffman. I really have to watch 'Walk the Line' and see for myself how good the blondie Reese Weatherspoon's performance was because I think Huffman was truly Oscar-material.
The movie was truly enjoyable and I had so much fun hanging out with Tresa, Theresa and Lydia again!
pictures @ multiply.com
[Time of Confession] 2:53 PM 0 Wisecracks for Me
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Friday, March 03, 2006
Quack quack
Quack. Quack. QUACKKK.
That's the only sound I'm getting from trying to make music with the alto sax. It seems like I have little affinity with it, sad to say. Dreams and aspirations to play like Joshua Redman are but a faint picture. Sigh.
*looks fierce*
No I shall not give up! Even it means quacking a bit more to get closer to making something more pleasant come out of the instrument.
If anyone is wondering who is my music teacher, she's none other than the busker playing at some street for a little extra cash:
(^ her case is still quite empty... poor thing)
Here's the jazz saxaphonist to-be! Oops, was that a quack?
Looking and sounding goooot...plenty of potential! You go girl!
Okay, I was just trying to act like I can play the sax. Unfortunately I look just as bad as I sound. Bleahh -_-"
Acting pro. Think BOND?
Sisters and our 'hubbies'
[Time of Confession] 9:58 PM 0 Wisecracks for Me
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Thursday, March 02, 2006
Manic March and all its splendour
I don't know where January went and it doesn't make it any better that February's a short 28 days.
It's March.
Third month of the year... we're almost done with a quarter of 2006.
It's been a wild rollercoaster ride, these past 2 months, but I'm glad that one can't stay in the pits for long. What goes up must come down and it's the same vice versa.
A string of events are coming up in March.
For one, Ublues are going to be heating up the local pubbing scene with their funky tunes again!
UBLUES REUNION 11th to 26th March 2006
Singapore's top blues band returns to perform with special guest and international award winning Italian guitarist, Enrico Crivellaro and jams with Singapore's very own EIC and Timmy!
Sat 11th - Ublues Band feat. Enrico C. Mon 13th - Ublues Trio Tues 14th - Ublues Trio Wed 15th - EIC jams with Ublues Thurs 16th - Ublues Trio Fri 17th - Timmy Sat 18th - Ublues Band Sun 19th - Ublues Band (Jam) Mon 20th - Trevor Jalla Tues 21st - Ublues Trio Wed 22nd - EIC Thurs 23th - Ublues Trio Fri 24th - Timmy jams with Ublues Sat 25th - Ublues Band Sun 26th - Ublues Band (Jam)
Enrico Crivellaro is rated one of the best guitarists in the world and has played on the same stage with the best in the business including the Royal Crown Revue, John Lee Hooker, BB King and many others. He was awarded 2004 Trophees France for Best Contemporary Blues Guitarist (International) and 2003 Blues & Blues Awards for Best Italian Blues Guitarist.
What they say about the Ublues Band: "Every few years in our local music scene, a musician or band appears which excites me when I listen to them. Ublues is one such band." - Jeremy Monteiro
"This is just great. These guys are having a ball and its shows. The playing is first class...four stars" (Rated excellent) - Ben Bartlett. Guitarist Magazine (UK)
Please visit www.timbre.com.sg for more information about the Ublues band & Enrico.
Then there's the Mosaic music festival, of which I'm going to watch Bob James and the Pat Methany trio! So much to look forward to!
And of course I can't ignore the fact that my lab reports and assignments keep streaming in steadily and there's a need to keep up or be buried deep within the pile of work...
I'll get by.
PS: Squashies, Niners, friends (basically everyone), if you're reading this, pick a date for another chill out session?
[Time of Confession] 7:43 PM 0 Wisecracks for Me
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The 'Pikasso; with 4 necks, 2 sound holes, 2 access doors and took 2 whole years (approximately 1000 hours) to build!!
