Confessions of an Undisguised Drama Queen

Friday, February 04, 2005

Gnawing

It finally rained after like a million years of blazing sunshine. Actually it was more like a short drizzle. Pity it wasn't the heavy downpour/ thunderstorm I was pining for so I can cuddle in bed under the warm covers and feel fortunate that I'm dry and comfy. Anyway, the pathetic drizzle has stopped and now it's not only hot, it's damn humid.

The weekend is here again (an exclamation mark at the end would have been more appropriate, but honestly, I'm not quite in the 'exclaiming' mood); Jen and Sean are still not talking (if you know what I mean); I'm feeling desperately lonely now; And a tad depressed (would be very depressed if not for the fact that today's payday).

That pretty much sums up what I've got to share. Other than that irritating gnawing feeling because of something I read somewhere. About someone and someone else. I think it's jealousy. Maybe envy. Or is it doubt? Or confusion? Man, I am seriously driving myself crazy. Talk about digging one's own grave.

Am now wearing a forced smile on my face. Read from somewhere that if you force yourself to smile even when you're not happy, you'll actually feel better. Apparently not. That just makes my cheeks sore.

On a serious note, why do I suffer from such inapparent moodswings? Is this *gasp* manic depression or *double gasp* schizophrenia??

Somebody, somewhere, please do something - save me........ (note: this is a general statement. not related to the 'someone and someone else' mentioned above)

[Time of Confession] 7:14 PM
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