[C'EST MOI]
living paradox. individualist with anarchistic tendencies.
eludes eminence but appreciates subtle recognition.
capricious yet dependable. clandestine and unfathomable.
cynical realist who succumbs to the occasional idealism.
[J'AIME]
music. films. feasting & drinking. team sports.
good company; family, friends and those who share similar interests.
The emptiness is slowly eating me up as I sit alone in my room gazing at the pile of assignments - hoping that looking at them is good enough to get the correct answers scribbled onto the blank lines themselves miraculously.
As I'd predicted earlier, this semester is indeed a stressful and heavy-laden one. But I never thought it would feel this bad. I guess I'm just in one of those "I feel like I'm the last person left here on earth" moods. And it isn't helping that it's exceptionally quiet around here today. And dammit, MSN is down yet AGAIN.
At least Tresa and Fifi had the hearts and thoughts to pop me a little surprise visit - or more of a shock cos they were practically screaming for me while outside my room. But it did make me feel a little better and that I still belonged to some civilisation.
Enough of self-pity. I just read Bernard's blog and he did a little 'research' on The UnXpected and not only found their blog but also left a comment there. Being little kaypo me, I went to check out the blog too and guess what, Shirlyn (the lead singer with babelicious eyes!!) actually mentioned about us: "bunch of kids.... the table to her left that was so noisy because it was someone's birthday" in one entry. And for record's sake, we weren't actually celebrating a birthday. The guys just thought it would be an acceptable reason to be so rowdy, so when Shirlyn asked the crowd "Is it anyone's birthday today?", someone from the group just shouted out, "Yeaaa!!! It's JACK'S birthday!!" Goodness. I guess we were really carried away that night.
Sometimes I don't know whether I bring it upon myself - this loneliness and emptiness. I complain to my friends that it's hard luck that I can't find a person to share my experiences with; but then I sit and think and maybe the problem lies with me. I'm afraid to put myself out there to be vulnerable to hurt and yes, I'm probably a commitment-phobe. The irony of the whole issue. I want yet I also don't want. What is it with me??!!
[Time of Confession] 1:02 AM 0 Wisecracks for Me
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