Confessions of an Undisguised Drama Queen

Saturday, December 31, 2005

à la fin du chapitre

I've come to the end of a year; 12 months; 365 long days.

It occurs to me now, that as I get older, the weight of a single year increases exponentially. Partly because of the fear of aging, but more so because of the greater expectations I have of myself.

Knowing that the number of good years left on this place can only get smaller, there's a sense of urgency to get things done within the next year.

Goals to be achieved, tasks to be accomplished, resolutions to fulfill, moments to experience.

To learn, to live, to love, before it's all too late and opportunities pass by without making a U-turn.

I remember a friend sharing with me a quote by Ghandi: Live as if you're to die tomorrow, learn as if you're to live forever; and we would laugh over the irony of it. Honestly, if I were to die tomorrow, I probably won't give a shit about learning.

Then again, maybe not.

I think it's just the year-end mood... it's making me feel all solemn and philosophical. But is there any point in that? Reflecting on how I've grown (or not) over this past year, will it make me a better person in the next? Will mulling over this year's events give a clearer direction for me in 2006?

No one can really give me answers but myself.

I feel so alone.

[Time of Confession] 1:42 PM
1 Wisecracks for Me

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Thursday, December 29, 2005

I'm Bored...

Your Christmas is Most Like: The Muppet Christmas Carol

You tend to reflect on Christmas past, present, and future...
And you also do a little singing.

What Movie Is Your Christmas Most Like?

Your Christmas Song Is

Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow

Oh the weather outside is frightful
But the fire is so delightful
And since we've no place to go
Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!

Forget a new iPod or laptop...
What you want Christmas morning is a winter wonderland.

What Christmas Carol Are You?

You Are Socks!

Cozy and warm... but easily lost.
You make a good puppet.

What Crappy Christmas Gift Are You?

You Are a Traditional Christmas Tree

For a good Christmas, you don't have to re-invent the wheel.
You already have traditions, foods, and special things you bring out every year.

What Christmas Tree Are You?

You Are Lemon Meringue Pie

You're the perfect combo of sassy and sweet
Those who like you have well refined tastes

What Kind of Pie Are You?

Your Brain's Pattern

Your brain is always looking for the connections in life.
You always amaze your friends by figuring out things first.
You're also good at connecting people - and often play match maker.
You see the world in fluid, flexible terms. Nothing is black or white.

What Pattern Is Your Brain?

You Are Cherry Garcia Ice Cream

You're the coolest cat around, but too laid back to let it get to your head

What Flavor Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream Are You?

[Time of Confession] 11:41 PM
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Yet another night...

I hope I didn't give the impression that I was some kind of fanatic - it was my third night down at Timbre to soak up the music by Ublues once again, but I really want to catch them while they're still in town.

It was actually Jordan who tempted me to go down again; I was quite comfortable within the notion of staying in to watch some tv and be a couch potato but he was stuck in the dilemma of whether or not to head down so we spent a while hmmm-ing and mmmm-ing over why he should and why he shouldn't go and it ended up with the BOTH of us going. My exact words were, "I guess one more night of blues can't kill me. I'll just get intoxicated and suffer from withdrawal symptoms tomorrow, but I'll deal with it. Like I always have".

And he was so nice to offer to 'teleport' me to and from Timbre. (thanks dude!)

All is good... and I'm glad I went.

Some of my friends just don't get why I go down to Timbre so religiously; I like hanging out there mostly because of the good music (and of cos THE band too) and then because it's open air. No smoke in your eyes, hair, clothes and whatsoever, like in those sardine-packed clubs where everywhere you trod, you're likely to step on another person's toes. It's a nice place to wind down and chill where everything is kept simple and casual - there's no need to dress to impress like in those high society wine bars.

Tonight was Ublues and EIC playing but Ublues stole the night away with their grooves. They were electrifying and on fire - they rocked the house down and the crowd followed. It was a dynamic atmosphere. I went and got what I wanted. The band's playing gets better every night and I wish I can be there for their last night playing as a full band but my friends have already made plans on Friday =(

The icing on the cake tonight?

A goodnight kiss from Trevor.

(heehee... okay, I must refrain from being the giggly schoolgirl *attempts a nonchalant look*)

[Time of Confession] 2:53 AM
0 Wisecracks for Me

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Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Myriad of Emotions

I don't even know where to start.

Yesterday night, I was extremely disappointed and piffed. Not only did our team lose the quarterfinals match, we lost to a team who was anything but sporting and responsible. Darn it.

After the first game, it was our turn to call the next pair and one of their female players hadn't arrived despite the fact that the match started 40 minutes ago. So we called for that player cos according to the HO rules, there is a grace period of 15 minutes before it's considered a walkover. However, the opposing hall argued that the match lasts 2 hours and we should therefore wait 2 hours for that player.

WTH??

These people were the ones who asked to push the match forward an hour JUST THE DAY BEFORE, and now it's 40 minutes after the start of the match but not all their players arrived. What kind of attitude is that? So they're the convening hall? I don't give a damn shit! Especially after they failed to promptly confirm the match date and time (re: recent post). Suckers.

So this argument went on and this guy (from the other hall) had the cheek to bring up the fact that we wanted to change the match date from the 24th to the 27th, and tried to push the blame to us. Excusez moi!!!!

I wanted to pounce on him and strangle him to bits while screaming "You still dare to say!!! Never reply my messages, no apologies and you still dare to bring it up??!!!"

My blood still boils till now.

Then I'm sad.

Christian's left for the U.S for 6 long months and soon Grace will follow. Next semester in NTU will be so dull and lonely without their company. Who's going to walk to school with me? Have meals with me? Study with me? Shop for groceries with me?

Boohoohoo :'(

I wish they didn't have to go. But of course that's asking for the impossible... so I wish them all the best in their overseas exchange. Go all out and soak in the amazing experience of being miles away from home! The excitement, the thrill and the adventure! Good luck my friends!

And there's a reason to cheer.

Lena is back in town! My darling friend of 8 donkey years; since the first day of school in Cedar when she was the annoying teacher's pet and I was this scrawny (as she described) girl till now, both very beautiful babes *takes a curtsey*!

Had a long chat with her last night and we were reminiscing the good ol' days in school and I realised we had pet names for almost every teacher that taught us. I had a good laugh and suddenly, everything seemed brighter.

=)

[Time of Confession] 12:05 AM
0 Wisecracks for Me

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Monday, December 26, 2005

Christmas 2005

There's something about the year-end holidays and the festive season. Particularly how Christmas, Thanksgiving and New Year's Day are so close together.

I love Christmas. It's the most romantic holiday ever. Even far more romantic than Valentine's Day. The commercialised hearts and flowers pasted and hung up everywhere cannot be compared to the season of giving, love (including that for the family AND friends) and above all, sacrifice.

Christmas would be nothing if not for God's greatest gift to us; Jesus Christ, who led a faultless life only to give it up willingly so that we need no longer bear the punishment for the sin that runs in our blood, through our very veins.

And then there is something amusing about this festive season. I am particularly dreamy and hopeful during this time of the year. It's like I can literally smell romance in the air...mmm... but that's beside the point. My point is, there is no other holiday that is as wonderful as Christmas - one that brings people together and brings out the joy, love and generosity in all of us.

J'adore Noel

Day 0: Christmas Eve
I slept the entire afternoon away, hoping to regain at least part of my voice so as to maintain some sort of conversation with my friends whom I were to meet that evening (it'd be pretty boring if i couldn't speak the entire night. i'd imagine that to be a rather painful experience).

I only got back about 25% of my vocal ability.

The evening was really awesome. If I had to sum it up in a single word, I'd say 'Whoa'. Think Neo from The Matrix.

The weather was terrific; I was in the best company (my best friend was there and so were my pals from JC), in the best mood, at a fantastic bistro with the best blues music.

What more could I ask for?

Timbre wasn't as packed as I thought it'd be, since it was the eve of a public holiday. In fact, we were there so early, I'm quite sure we were one of the first few patrons.

Although things didn't get as hyped up as usual when the band played (most customers were more interested in their food and drinks), I enjoyed myself thoroughly. I've waited like 5 months to hear the band play again; it's been a long and painful interval!

My mates and I talked, played bridge and the infamous Zhong Ji Mi Ma (the drinking game we ALWAYS play), drank and drank but only got high on music (particularly yours truly) and just soaked in the atmosphere of warmth and familiarity (we HAVE been to Timbre a couple of times).

It was a pity that one of my pals got wasted before the night ended and some guys had to leave first to send him back. I do hope he's feeling a whole lot better. It must be really sucky to have a hangover on Christmas Day.

Day 1: Christmas Day
Functioning on only 4.5 hours of sleep, I headed for the Christmas service with my family at the Singapore Indoor Stadium, afterwhich I came home to nap for an hour before all hell broke loose.

Well, something like that.

We were preparing for our Christmas dinner (with the turkey and all, remember?) and it was chaotic.

My dad collected the smallest turkey he'd ordered from Cold Storage and realised that it was uncooked. We had to pop it into the oven ourselves. The only thing is, it wouldn't fit. It was pretty hilarious, watching my dad trying to squeeze the turkey into the microwave. It reminded me vividly of a scene from Mr. Bean. Alas, my dad had to saw (yes, SAW, but with a knife la) the turkey into two. This wasn't a pretty sight. The turkey ended up looking brutally murdered, but at least it solved the size problem.

Then there was an awful lack of space. Given a tiny kitchen comfortable enough for one person (who is usually my maid) to prepare a meal, 5 people in the kitchen makes cooking and preparation extremely squeezy. My maid and sister were washing and slicing up the vegetables for the salad, my dad was cooking the turkey, I was slicing, whisking and layering for the scalloped potatoes and my mum was standing around (still with her face mask on), watching us work and vie for space at the same time.

Oh and did I mention, we were working desperately against time.
It was already 6.45pm, dinner had to be served by 7.30pm cos we were going to catch a movie thereafter, AND my potatoes needed an hour to bake, but the turkey was still occupying all the space in the oven.

*sweat*

Fortunately we got everything ready in time and gave out our presents before digging into one of the most sumptious and heartwarming meals in the entire year (my family usually doesn't eat together at mealtimes).

Our dinner...

... and dessert

Presenting my gift to Mum and Dad

Present from Sis

After stuffing ourselves silly, the bunch of us headed to Shaw@Beach Road to catch The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. The movie could not have been more appropriate. It was almost like the story that I've read years ago came to life as I had imagined then. The biblical truth that was embedded in the essence of the story is like a metaphoric representation of the Christmas Story of Christ's sacrifice. Simply excellent!

It was almost 12mn when the show ended but the night hadn't come to an end for me.

My mum dropped me off at Timbre (which was nearby) and I joined Christian, Jordan and PJ for the last set of funky, live-wired blues with Ublues.

It sealed my perfect day perfectly.

[Time of Confession] 3:08 AM
0 Wisecracks for Me

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Friday, December 23, 2005

Enfin...

In the midst of my afternoon slumber (trying not to think about the stupid issue), I received and sent SMSes on my phone with one eye open.

It's official.

The match has been postponed.

*grin*

Maybe Christmas won't be that bad after all.

[Time of Confession] 6:48 PM
0 Wisecracks for Me

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Irate. Frenzied.

Since last night, I think I must have sent out up to 50 SMSes.

No, it's not lovey messages to someone I can't get enough of (I'll dream on...)

It's regarding official business.

Remember the match I mentioned in yesterday's entry? The one I'm supposed to play on Xmas eve? Well, my team initially wanted to postpone it to the next week so as not to disrupt celebration plans (as well as to secure more time for me to recover) but the opponent team (after much SMS-ing because of the very delayed reply) wanted to retain the original date so we took it that we'd be playing on Xmas eve (explaining my really foul mood last night).

I mass-SMSed my teammates and informed them about the match and went to bed.

Woke up this morning at 7.30am and saw that I'd received one message. The team manager (of the other hall) said that his teammates have a change of mind and asked if we'd still like to change the match to the 27th (of course wan lah!). I replied, asking if it will be in the evening as earlier discussed, and thereafter proceeded to mass-SMS my teammates AGAIN, telling them that our match date's been changed but the time is yet to be confirmed.

11am: No reply from Mr. Manager. Sent him a message to ask him to confirm the date and time of the match.

12nn: Still no reply. Sent the message again.

1pm: As above. (For those who are wondering why don't I just call him, I've pretty much lost my voice already... so... yeah..)

3pm: Still no reply. Received a message from my Sports Secretary, chasing me for a confirmation because the match could very well be tomorrow if the other team didn't give me their confirmation. Bleagh!

3.15pm Texted a friend of mine (who's playing for the other hall) and asked her if she knows the outcome. She wasn't informed of a confirmed match date and told me that she has had problems contacting her manager before. She then gave me the number of another player who supposedly has a say in the decision making and I texted him, asking if the change is finalised.

3.30pm Not receiving ANY helpful messages. Mass-SMSed my teammates about the ambiguity of the match date and the likelihood of having to play tomorrow morning.

3.40pm Some of my teammates replied to acknowledge that they've taken note of the situation now. But still NOTHING from the other hall.

Everyone mentioned above are guys (except for my friend who texted me at 3.15pm).

So tell me, what is it with guys and indecisiveness? C'mon, I need some efficiency here!!!!

[Time of Confession] 3:21 PM
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And then some dreary feelings...

Presents galore!

These is my loot this year - not for keeps though.
Every single handwrapped present here is on a mission to spread the holiday cheer!
I can't wait to give them out and see the beaming faces of the people close to my hearts.
Playing santa is fun, but only when the acceptor gets to receive the present. Some are too busy to meet up so I guess their presents will stay in storage for a while before my younger sibs get a hold on them *ahem* Hinting to some friends who have no time for poor little Joy here!

What's not fun @ Christmas?

Having to play a squash match on Christmas eve. #(*&#@(*&(@##@#$@(*!!??!!!
This sucks big time man.
Hopefully we'll win and take home an extra present for Christmas - qualifying for the semis. *grumble*

Moreover, the bug is really pissing me off... it's decided to give me a little cough now. Really, it's time for it to bugger off! Leave meee aloonneeeee!!!

Sigh.

I just hope it's a momentary period of moodiness before the big partying.

Everything seems gloomy suddenly.

Totally not in the mood for Christmas anymore.

Sigh.

[Time of Confession] 12:18 AM
0 Wisecracks for Me

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Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Bust the Bug

Very unfortunately, the cold that I had a few days ago morphed into a nasty fever with a throat-lacerating pain.

I'm S.I.C.K.

And it's only 4 more days to Christmas!!! I need to get well by then!!! *drowning myself with water*

It's a really good thing that for today's squash match, the guys finished Hall 13 off in 2 sets each AND the Hall 13 girls didn't want to play (since they'd already lost... so much so for sportsmanship) so we had a walkover and I didn't have to run like a mad dog in the courts with heaving breaths and dripping mucus (ok i know, it's gross. but tt's what being sick is all about. you're gross. period).

I'm wondering if the packed schedule is simulating the adverse effects on my body. I suspect it's the stress of having to juggle so many things. Honestly, I really do feel tired out. The mere thought of the things I have to do - trainings, lab work, articles to write, the eminent task of churning out a full report for my attachment (and I'm not even started!!) is threatening my very sanity. I don't even recall being this stressed out during the school term.

Lalalalalala *fingers in my ears and attempting to sing away the stress*

My results were out on Monday and I don't know what to think of it. Partly because they've changed the grades system from the regular 'A, B, and Cs' to the Grade Point Average (or GPA) system. I guess I'm not particularly happy but neither am I distressed about it. Still, I really thank God for pulling me through this sem's exams. It was really one of the worse ever. I felt underprepared and crushed under the truckloads of information to understand and memorize. I am nothing, really, but hey, it doesn't matter coz I've got a BIG God behind me.

Now I'm going to get the rest I need and force the horrid cold bug out before Christmas. It ain't getting no present from me!

[Time of Confession] 4:23 PM
0 Wisecracks for Me

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Monday, December 19, 2005

Happy 10 000!

The webcounter has passed the 10 000 mark!

Not that it's much of a thing to celebrate but what the heck; I'm dying to celebrate something. Anything. And it's still 6 more days to Christmas!

The days are getting more and more draggy... especially when down with a cold and far from home, with piles of work to face everyday, torturous trainings and competitions, numerous commitments, I just hope my body doesn't fall apart before school reopens.

Which will be in 2 weeks' time,
And the vicious cycle continues.

But I thank God for His peace... though things can get pretty demanding, I know He will carry me through this. Still need to work on my patience though. The short fuse is still hanging around.

6 more days! 6 more days!

[Time of Confession] 9:20 PM
0 Wisecracks for Me

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Saturday, December 17, 2005

Owwww....

Yesterday.

I can't feel my legs no more.

We (Hall 9 squash team) played against the very strong Hall 2 in the preliminaries today. Despite losing 3-2, all my players put in a very good fight but we still couldn't match the level of skill of the opposing team. Still, kudos to the team for the effort - so what if we lost... lose in style can already!

Had training under THE coach again and I must say that I've never perspired so much in my LIFE. I was literally dripping with sweat and my skin was glistening, it'd have put M.A.C's glitter pigments to shame. (i apologise for the sordid details there)

It left me more aching than ever.

Today.

I woke up with a stuffed nose, a dry and scratchy throat, and blocked ears. I'm most likely:
(a) overdehydrated from last night's training
(b) down with a flu bug after 4 hours in winter wonderland
(c) allergic to the aircon

I think it's (a).

Anyhow, I climbed outta bed at 8 this morning to get to school to settle some things in the lab. It's literally my 2nd home now. I'm not even in hall as much as I am in my lab coat and gloves.

Someone please tell me I still have a life?

Work aside, I received a shocking SMS today. Someone from Indonesia told me that he saw my lost laptop at a 2nd hand store at Tanjung Pinang and found it weird that it still contained all my documents AND PERSONAL DATA in it - most people reformat their computers before selling them off.

He got my number through my CV (it's freaky. everything about me IS inside that piece of technology) and notified me - it completely threw me off for the moment. To know that a specific person has access to all your private information is by far more scary than knowing that your personal information is somewhere out there.

Don't ask why, it just is.

I replied and told the guy that my laptop was stolen and he offered to help me to save the data if I needed it because the vendor was going to reformat the computer. He said he'd send it to my address; my reports, past work and all. However, it's permanent goodbye to my pictures and video clips cos' there wasn't enough time (and probably disk memory) for him to save those.

Thank God that this person's nice enough to contact me even though he really didn't have to. I may finally recover my years of reports and schoolwork that I've painstakingly accumulated.

I called the Sgt. that was in charge of my case and told him about the SMS. He said that nothing much could be done and I don't really care about the lost laptop already. I've long gotten over it and I don't really see the point in going through so much trouble to get back something that is not even in good working condition (the DVD drive's not even working!)

It's all in the past already and I've moved on. It's really tiring to keep harping on the matter and desperately keep trying to find back what's lost.

My dad thinks otherwise. He feels I should call the police and get them to retrieve the laptop from 2nd hand vendor... he doesn't understand that I want to move on already and besides, the sergeant DID say that there's nothing much that can be done, other than finding out who sold the laptop to Indonesia.

That's pretty pointless if you ask me.

I mean, I find the person who sold it, so what? The person who took my laptop could have given it to a friend to sell, who passed it to a colleague, who passed it to a relative, who gave it to the dog.... You get the picture.

But at least my mum agrees with me.

Christmas.

A reason and season to be cheerful!

We're going to have a Christmas dinner at home! Finally... I think it'll be the first festive dinner as a whole family in like, what, 10 years?

Dad's getting the turkey, Mum's ordering the log cake, my little sis has volunteered to decorate the house and make her famous jelly (which, FYI, comes in box and only needs water and refrigeration. but she always likes to ask if HER jelly is nice to eat. how bad can it get anyway? *grin*) and I've got the presents!!

David Gan splurges $30 000 on gifts and I'm not as filthy rich as him but this year, I got better gifts for everyone close. It burns a hole in the wallet, especially when you have a big family *sweat*, but tis the season of giving, and it's fun being santa!

[Time of Confession] 12:29 AM
2 Wisecracks for Me

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Thursday, December 15, 2005

A little less gloomy...

Thank goodness that in the same way you can't have too much of a good thing, bad things don't bug you forever.

Today's a MUCH better day. I've gotten over the shit-person (in my previous entry) and things are definitely looking up. Even Christmas is coming soon... I can feel it in the air, and there's no stopping it!

We had lab meeting cum breakfast tea this morning - my prof baked cookies and cake for us! We were spoilt with sweet delights and warm earl grey and peppermint tea... ahh... I've always believed that the festive season brings out the wonderful side of people.

So anyway, I had the opportunity to share about the shitty incident and the shit-person with everyone. While recounting what happened, I noticed that most of the lab personnel had surprised looks - apparently no one really knew about it! I must have been oversensitive with the stares.. HMM.

My prof was also piffed by the audacity of this imposter and I'm quite sure that this matter will be brought up to the higher management in the school.

Yeah man! I hope they find the culprit and sack the shit outta the person.

Shit-person aside, for the first time in my life, I experienced a cold winter.

Almost.

The temperature was winter temperature: 4 degrees; but the falling snow and snow-covered landscapes were only part of my imagination.

Von and I had to do protein purification today and one of the required conditions was to perform the extire procedure (which spans about 4 hours) at 4 deg.

4 hours. At 4, sometimes 3.5 deg in the cold room.

It's a good thing I wore my long-sleeved tee today and jeans instead of my usual 3-quarts. I also had a jacket which I zipped right up, keeping the neck warm, but also made head movements fairly restricted.

However, my poor hands, being skimpily clothed in only a thin layer of rubber gloves, lost all sense of touch in the cold room. Such a situation makes protein purification very, very challenging.

But alas, Von and I pulled through without getting a single frostbite - probably also because we took occasionally breaks and left the room to thaw by walking around and doing jumping jacks (when no one else was around, of course).

Last and best news of the day?

UBLUES WILL BE BACK IN TOWN FOR XMAS.

More @ timbre's website

[Time of Confession] 10:39 PM
0 Wisecracks for Me

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Wednesday, December 14, 2005

I Could Kick Anyone's Butt In Squash

Don't get me wrong. I'm not getting complacent with my skills in squash, but remember how I play much better when I'm angry? Yup. That. Right now, I'm quite sure I can trash anyone (even if it means playing foul) because

I AM SO PISSED.

PROVOKED.

INFURIATED.

JUST-PLAIN-SNARLING-YOU'D-BETTER-WATCH-YOUR-STEP-AROUND-ME ANGRY.

The day started out fine. I was recharged after a good night's rest at home; it was my mum's birthday yesterday and we had a nice dinner together with my siblings at the club.

Then I got to school with Von this morning, got briefed on what we're to do and got on with our work till IT happened.

When Von and I got back from lunch, a senior called us aside and asked us, looking really serious, if we'd used the centrifuge machine downstairs at 3rd floor.

We WERE at the 3rd floor most of the morning but we were at the South Wing using the Sonicator in another lab. We didn't touch the centrifuge machine at all. Not today, not yesterday, not ever.

Apparently someone used the centrifuge machine, made a terrible mess (media was spilled all over) AND stated in the logsheet that he/she was from OUR lab and signed off with the name 'Jocelyn'. So the next person who wanted to use the machine found it in a dire state, came knocking on our lab, and presumably made a scene (here, I don't know exactly what happened coz I was out at lunch).

Thing is, everyone thought it was ME because they assumed that Joy was short for Jocelyn. (My senior actually asked what was my full name; I told her and she asked, 'Joy's not short for anything?' Hello everyone, I'm sick of people mistaking. The name's J.O.Y. Not JoyCE or JoyCELYN or whatever shit ok.)

I hate being accused of something I didn't do. Worse still, I had to deal with the weird stares everyone at the lab was shooting at me.

For the last time, it wasn't me!!!!!

Now my senior suspects that someone is out to sabotage either ME or our lab.

WTH.

I hope the person get him/herself into some deep deep shit and gets fired.

DAMN YOU.

[Time of Confession] 4:53 PM
1 Wisecracks for Me

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Tuesday, December 13, 2005

DEAD.TIRED.

A very quick update before I plonk myself on my bed and fall into deep sleep instantly;

IH Squash match against Hall 5
We won we won we won we won we won we won we won!
'Nuff said.

The rest of my day
I can't really remember.

Other than working almost non-stop at the lab since after lunch, I think my day pretty much flew by without anything interesting happening. Which is good in a way. Given my current energy level, I might not be able to cope with too much excitement *gulp*

Fatigue is really bad for the brain.

I can't think clearly - whatever is heard is not registered. Like during the sports meeting just now, I know my 'boss' was talking and disseminating information but I just couldn't retain anything.

Yikes.

All I remember is how I noticed almost everyone else is charred with brown (some already black. literally) and peeling skin with some pinkish burnt areas (sunblock, people!); while I'm still far from tan.

I'm probably the only person who has yet to play a single outdoor IH sport this season (thank goodness squash is NOT exposed to the natural elements) because of my lab attachment, and I really feel for the players who are playing like up to 10 sports.

It's crazy.

I played like 3 sports last season and was already suffering from multiple aches and sores, much less those who have trainings and match from 9am to 6pm almost EVERY day.

Hang in there...

[Time of Confession] 12:10 AM
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Sunday, December 11, 2005

It's a FROSTY christmas.

Everyone, say hello to Mr. Frost; my new toy, companion and love.

No, no. I'm not referring to the dashing Andy Frost from the Magnets.

It's my spanking new and teeny weeny ibook G4.

Welcome me to the community of Applers! (or whatever you call those who are on Mac)

I've recovered almost everything that was lost, and gained even much more than what I had. God is really wonderful =)

And so is my mum.

She just got back from China only this afternoon and didn't even have the chance to go home, put down her baggage and get some rest before heading out with me to get the laptop. Immediately after church service, we went to the AppleCentre@Orchard only to find that it's not affliated to the Apple store at J8 - where I had seen the promotion for the ibook G4. And it so happened that today is the last day of the promotion.

Charged up with coffee (for mum... i don't drink coffee whenever I can help it), we then headed down to bishan, with luggages and all, to purchase Mr. Frost.

I was praying hard all the way, hoping that they would have stock so I could take 'him' home today and my prayers were answered! My handsome toy is sitting on my desk now looking all suave beside his new friend, Snowy (iDoggy).

Friends who are planning to get Apple stuff, I recommend getting it at J8 and preferrably get assistance from Alex, this super helpful salesperson who also has a cute smile (reminds me a little of Jerry Yen with the dimples.. HAHA. Ok, a bit irrelevant here). But he was really nice and patient - even when my mum's friend kept pestering for him to throw in something free/ extra, since it was the last day of the promotion.

Boy, was I embarrassed.

I have never been ace at bargaining and it makes me feel really paiseh to haggle for good deals. I could only smile on sheepishly or pretend to admire Mr. Frost while the 'commotion' continued in the background.

I would like to gush on about Mr. Frost but it's getting late and I need rest for the first squash match tomorrow!

Good luck to US!

[Time of Confession] 11:59 PM
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Thursday, December 08, 2005

Of pride and more...

I had a pretty rough day. As of this afternoon, I felt immensely cornered with a pressing problem, a couple of little ones and a whole load of responsibilities. It was as if I was pushed to the edge, up the wall, into the valleys etc etc and I was almost on the brink of breakdown.

Tresa can be my witness.

But I really thank God for friends like Grace and Tresa who are really patient in soughting me out and listening to my dilemma. Being caught tangled in the middle of what seems like a dead knot, I can only pray and ask for guidance from my Jehovah Raha - the Lord, my shepherd.

Anyway, thank you lovelies for your encouraging tags and messages (incl the SMSes). I feel much better whacking out the frustrations on the walls of the squash courts =P

I just went to drop Bernard and his Vanilla a visit - to play around with his iBook and get acquainted with the OS. It really is worlds apart from Windows... something novel - there are a couple of pretty cool features but I'm worried that the novelty might wear off after using for it long enough and I'll soon miss the comfort and familiarity of Microsoft Windows OS.

How?

My mum's outta town so I've still got some time to decide what I really want.

On my way back to my room, Tresa and I passed by a really stinky pantry (courtesy of the inconsiderate residents who fancy COOKING UP A STORM in there) and it evoked something that I was thinking about in the train yesterday as I was heading to town.

One man's scent may be another's poison.

Well, I guess at this time and age, given the supposed advancement and modernization of our society, the breed of people who walk around with odours unpleasant enough to be used in a biological warfare are somewhat extinct (I hope I AM correct).

So we have one less problem with having to hold your breath when standing next to a person who is second to a stinkbomb.

But another problem still exists.

I don't know about most of you, but I'm rather sensitive. Emotionally, yes, sometimes, but immunologically - ALOT. Like how I have so many allergies (shark's fins, bird's nest....)? Plus my supersensitive skin. And also note that I'm sensitive to certain perfume scents. Which notes exactly I'm not sure - it really depends on my affinity with the scent.

So what's the problem?

When I'm in the train (or any other confined space for that matter) and am positioned next to or very close to someone who have sprayed on perfume which scent makes me feel uncomfortable.

What do I do? What SHOULD I do?

Unlike the 'extincted' problem mentioned above, it's NOT okay to show your disdain openly with a stare and a very animated action of pinching your nose or coughing as though you were going barf, because the fact is, the person in question, does NOT stink.

More often than not, I try to pretend that I do not hate the how the person smells by looking away (hoping that I can also 'smell away' at the same time), holding my breath and taking small
gulps of air through my mouth so that I do not stimulate my olfactory bulbs.

It's really quite a torture - especially during long rides.

Of course there's the alternative of walking away - but I also have a mini problem of lazy legs.

Better suggestion?

Pride and Prejudice
I caught the preview of the movie yesterday and since I haven't yet read the book, the movie was refreshingly romantic, dreamy and absolutely uncalled for - it is one of those plots full of fallacy, giving false hope of a knight in shining armor, a passionate and lasting love affair, a charming Monsieur Darcy.

Blah blah blah.

Okay enough of fantasies... things like these never happen in real life (WHY's that again??? *sulk*)

[Time of Confession] 10:46 PM
0 Wisecracks for Me

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Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Inner Bitch

Can I be a bitch and complain/whine a whole lot?

Can I?

On the account of PMS?

Sigh.

Right now, possibly the only muscle that is still functioning normally is the one is my heart. Even that might be failing.

It was the first IVP training tonight and I swear the coach was trying to MURDER me. Or us. Whatever.

I don't remember doing drills till I had fainting spells and took heaving breaths. Ok, maybe I'm exaggerating a little but honestly, I felt like my life was going to end right there in the courts. And when I desperately asked for a time-out, he nonchalantly continued to feed the ball and insisted I hold on for another minute, ten balls.....

Now, even my toes are crying out in pain.

It doesn't help that my schedule is packed like sardines. And it's taking a toll on my temper. My fuse appears to have become rather short; so pardon me - at this point in time, if I'm not getting things done quickly and my way, Volcano J may just revert from it's dormant state.

I'm trying but sometimes it's really hard to control myself... there are so many expectations even my own.

I beg the pardon of those who have to bear the distress of my impatience if my fuse blows.

I am a bitchy woman, hear me snarl.

[Time of Confession] 10:22 PM
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Sunday, December 04, 2005

Jumble mumble

It's a mixed array of emotions cooking in a hotpot.

I'm sleepy yet excited; fatigued yet ecstatic; dehydrated yet satisfied.

First and foremost, I thank my wonderful Daddy God for His boundless love and grace... He's been really amazing and everything I have thus far is only because of Him.

Today, a good friend of mine came to church with me. She's going through a tough time now and I feel as helpless as her; there is only so much I can do to help, but her wanting to take the step to let Him help her does mean alot.

And I believe He will make a difference.

Then I went to watch 'A Twist of Fate' this afternoon and boy, it was hilarious!

I was really impressed with Emma Yong's performance - she was a drama queen with an impeccable stage presence and she almost stole the limelight from Laura Michelle Kelly who seemed almost awkward in the Singaporean/Peranakan setting (oh, but i guess she was supposed to be so?)

But of course, the mystery was somewhat spoilt for me because I'd already known who the murderer was! (shouldn't have asked Evon to tell me the story... but that was before she convinced me to go watch it because it's really GOOT!)

One thing is bugging me though; I was reading the programme booklet and they did a write up on the actor who supposedly played the murdered Lim Chin Boon BUT we never got to see the character throughout the 2hr30min of the musical! Freaky!!

Unless he was the person behind the shadow of Lim Chin Boon in one of the flashback scenes in the beginning of the show (which lasted less than 30 sec). Wow... if that deserves a half page write-up on the actor, I should consider a career in theatre too!

Anyway, I'm drying out from lack of water and my throat is killing me... Better sleep early to recuperate so I can face the bacteria and yeast tomorrow!

[Time of Confession] 10:49 PM
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Saturday, December 03, 2005

Decided...

Up till now, I'm using my dad's bulky Toshiba Satellite laptop in replacement for my lost Fujitsu Lifebook.

Lugging the big guy to and from hall is no joke.

Mum said that if I really need a laptop for my schoolwork, I should get a one.

So I have been looking around for affordable models and thus far, Acer does carry some reasonably priced lappies but my friends have some not-so-nice reviews about their laptops' durability and stability.

And then there was the iBook.

I've had some doubts about switching to a Mac OS; it's definitely going to take some getting used to. Moreover, they don't have the Microsoft Office tools - I have to get it on top of the laptop cost.

But consider this, it's really cheap for a notebook! Plus they're having some year-end promotion now which makes it an even better deal!

My friends who are currently using this notebook are all raves for it... which does show something doesn't it? This tiny, white and shiny guy does pack a punch!

I look into the Mirror of Erised and it's all clear. I see this:

I'm so excited!! I want to get my new laptop and I want an iBook!

The only challenge now? To convince Mum that this IS a good buy.

[Time of Confession] 4:40 PM
0 Wisecracks for Me

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Friday, December 02, 2005

Creeping...

Unknowingly, the season of cheer is creeping up on me...

I can feel it in the air when I breathe.
Am I imagining things or is the weather getting chilly?
I hear christmas carols being played.
The christmas tree at home is up and my sister has taken the liberty the dress the living with streamers and glitteratti and what have you (honestly, she needs some decorative advice... it's beginning to look a bit tacky... oops)

I love Christmas!

I've always had the ideal setting of the Christmas night painted in my mind; a cosy home in a snowy town, christmas lights, a fireplace, warm rugs, loved ones....

*dreamy sigh*

I have been watching too many movies.

Looks like I'll have to make do with a rainy and dull Christmas... or maybe not? I need to make plans! Only 23 days left!

[Time of Confession] 9:07 PM
3 Wisecracks for Me

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