Confessions of an Undisguised Drama Queen

Monday, October 03, 2005

Rush of emotions

After all these years of playing squash, I've finally realised a winning formula (for me at least).

I've been training somewhat consistently with my guy friends, hoping to improve my reaction and speed. Training after training, there seems to be an improvement in my playing (even my friends think so and thereby certify me 30% male *snort*) but it's not good enough.

I have a terrible flaw. I under-perform under competition stress.

It probably happens to everyone else but mine must be the worst case ever. Sometimes I can lose solely by missing the service. Very frustrating! Because I know I can usually receive such shots but somehow, I just lose focus in a real game.

So anyway, I played a match today and expected myself to win but, again, the nerves got to me and I played a really loose second set, allowing my opponent to beat me 2 sets to nil. Urgh.

Almost immediately, I was scheduled to play with a senior of mine (I've played with her before and lost most of the time. In fact, I think it's all the time) and I decided to stop TRYING to focus but instead just play to win really badly. To do that, I had to muster up the 'winning formula'.

Anger.

Not too much so that I'd feel like throwing the racket at my opponent (goodness no...) but just enough to want to win so much that I'd push myself to run for every ball and to whack the ball really hard if it took all of my biceps.

It worked!

I won that match. And even though I didn't come out tops, at least there's still a medal for the 3rd placing. A slight boost of morale... I can do it! GRRrrrr *angry J baring teeth*

Other than anger, I'm also feeling a huge bout of frustration. Not squash-related this time. But brain-related.

My neurobiology module is so darn hard to study!!!!!!!!!!

Damn it!

Phew, just needed to let out some pent up emotions.

Thank you very much. It's time for me to continue trying to sort my notes out again.

[Time of Confession] 8:51 PM
9 Wisecracks for Me

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9 Comments:

Anonymous said...: This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.; 9:07 PM
Anonymous said...: Heya, maybe you can try thinking about how much you want to win. If you want something badly, you can surely focus on it.
Focus, but Relax.

Anyway, can you teach me how to put up that music player on ur blog?

I used Angelfire, a 3rd party site, which provides background music, but it doesn't work on Firefox. There's no player too. :-(
-Bizarre; 1:38 AM
lilmushroom said...: I tag u!

Rules of the game: Post 5 Weird and Random facts about yourself, then at the end, list the names of 5 people who are next in line to do this. Also leave a post on their Xanga/blogspot to let these people know.; 10:47 PM
peabrain_mokkie_atwork said...: I tag u!

Rules of the game: Post 5 Weird and Random facts about yourself, then at the end, list the names of 5 people who are next in line to do this. Also leave a post on their Xanga/blogspot to let these people know.

hahaahahaha i know very well that theresa tagged u first!! so u'll have to write TEN!!! ten weird and random facts!!! muahahahahaha; 2:49 AM
Jack said...: JOY JOY!!! I know le... I got a formula to PUSH YOURSELF TO YOUR LIMIT.

1) Try betting with your lecturer that if u win the next squash game u get an A, if u lose u get D!!

2) Bet $50 bucks with me for each game!! (lumpsum motivation)

3) Bet $5 for each point you gain in a game!! but if you lose 9-7 then you forfeit all the money!! (progressive incentive training)

hehe kiddings aside i think you just need to think positive, act positive, play positive, and stay focus. You'll be fine!!

Anyway i lost that day cos i didn't eat breakfast lunch and dinner.. hehe excuses excuses.. =P; 2:17 PM
Jack said...: Anyway AUNTIES dun go spas, only tai-tai do that... so i shall call u tai-tai; 2:23 PM
Madcap J said...: wah so many tags!; 8:42 PM
Madcap J said...: Bizarre, can pass me your email add i will mail you the instructions on how to add the music player; 8:44 PM
Anonymous said...: No problem.
Thank you.

bizarre16@gmail.com; 12:55 AM