Confessions of an Undisguised Drama Queen

Sunday, September 04, 2005

Can I Have More?

I met up with Mokkie for a brunch since she was around my area and we started talking about our old school days and the experiences we had. She was asking me which did I prefer - my JC days or my secondary school days?

For her, it was easy to decide. She could tell me it was definitely her JC days. I, on the other hand, hesitated for a moment and decided that both were enjoyable in different aspects.

I've had my fair share of great buddies and good fun in both schools.

In Cedar, I wasn't that close to my classmates, other than my little clique of 4. Come to think of it, it's almost like how it is in uni now. But we were a closer knit in secondary school, of course.

We were younger then and shared many crazy and wild moments, something so rare in the friendships forged nowadays (for me, that is).

I'm really glad that I'm still in contact with this group of buddies:
Von is like (quoted from a fellow uni school mate) my twin in school. Where you find her, I'll be around and vice versa. We share weal and woe in the ultra competitive SBS. She is super patient with me and we are like the dynamic duo - we work best with each other.

Lena's my lesbian lover (not!). Haha... she's really fun-loving and enjoyable to hang out with. She's like my psyche; she knows me inside-out. Even though we meet up only like once a year (cos she's faraway down under pursuing architecture), we never have an awkward moment of not knowing what to say. We just have the chemistry.

Then there's Peck Chin. Although she's always busy with her studies and all, we always make it a point to meet up together to catch up on each other's lives. Honestly, I am sometimes worried we'll lose touch once she starts working (which is really soon)...

The best experience in Cedar would have to be during the band days.

4 straight years with the same ol' bunch of friends. We worked hard together for competitions, concerts, performances; played hard together during camps and the overseas trips...

It was like a big family.

But it's really quite sad to think that I'm no longer in touch with any of my former section mates. We used to have so much fun together... the lame jokes and all (we girls really got quite crazy sometimes. i think i've never laughed so much in my life for 4 consecutive years) Sze Jia, Hui Si, Masrina, Siew Ling, Phyllis, Karen...

Then Mokkie reminded me, "At least you have the memories... isn't that enough?"

No, it's not. I want more than memories. I want friends for life.

I want to be able to talk and crap with the same bunch of people and laugh about the old times together.

I don't want to have to worry if we've changed, that it would be awkward to initiate something to rescue the lost contact.

I want back my friends who miss and cherish those days as much as I do.

But can I?

Fast forwarding to a more recent past. My JC mates.

Other than my best buddy, Grace, who is faraway in NZ, whom I'm in constant contact with (we meet up every time she comes back and she surprises me with occasional long distance phone calls), my other girl friends (whom we used to be really close) seem to be really occupied with their own lives and no longer make the time to do the things girl friends do.

Other than the special occasions like someone's birthday or some major class gathering, I don't hear from them at all.

It saddens me sometimes.

That things are not as they were. I seem to be losing my friends all over.

Is this part of life? Or is it just me?

[Time of Confession] 1:49 PM
3 Wisecracks for Me

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3 Comments:

peabrain_mokkie_atwork said...: ermmm there's this chinese proverb that goes "tian xia mei you bu san zi yan xi"... at least you've met these friends at a particular stage in your life. they may nt b ard you all the time, but if u really miss them, go ahead and try to contact them. if things turn out the way u wan it to be, u'll b so glad that u've made the first step. do not be too sad. be glad that u've got good memories/friends before. as some might not even have any when they're in sec or JC. my driving instructor once said "you need to look at the rear mirror occassionally but if you keep looking back all the time, you'll miss alot in front of you. and in driving context, you're bound to crash someday.there're many more good memories to come if u would just stop and look ahead of you. u can make the best out of your own situation ya! everyday's very meaningful and special cos u cannot turn back time. so dun pass a day feeling lousy ya! be happy! when u're happy, the pple ard u ar e happy for u!!; 12:46 AM
peabrain_mokkie_atwork said...: and ya just to add on.. i'm so glad i have u beside me!; 12:48 AM
Madcap J said...: haha me too... i'm LITERALLY beside u =P; 1:00 AM