Confessions of an Undisguised Drama Queen

Friday, August 26, 2005

Inner strife

I have been down the past week. It's inexplicable; the wave of emotions that overcome me persistently. I know that there are people around me who are concerned, and I apologize for any added worry.

I'm unhappy with my status quo, yet, being the moony and inert person I am, I'm not actively doing anything about it. I want things to change but I don't really know how to go about it: it's like I'm hoping things will just change better overnight. That I will wake up finding myself positively upbeat, I will have people who I care about and who care about me around, I will be engaging in activities with friends who share common interests, just having friends to hang out with and who are not 'too busy' or 'too caught up with their lives'.... no one ever has the time for me anymore.

And because of that, it struck me that I don't belong.

Even today as I was walking back to hall, I met a friend of mine who used to stay in the same block as me. We were actually quite close for a while - he's my 'godbrother', but we just lost contact after a while (which is really funny because we're still staying in the same hall). And when he saw me he said, "Hey! What happened to you? You like disappear from hall!"

How did things end up like that?

It's not the only time I feel detached from my friends and closed ones. We just lose touch. And then I find myself alone.

Is it me? Could it be, that I'm meant to walk thru this life alone?

It's depressing.

But at least I have cheered up considerably this evening.

My good friend, Theresa, came back to hall to visit Tresa and I. The 3 of us had a super long dinner at Billy Bombers, stuffing ourselves silly with their giant-portioned set meals and singing along to the oldies they were playing.

Then we went shopping for beauty stuff and got back to hall to pamper our pretty faces by doing a mini-facial (whitening masks!) and watching Madagascar while Tresa ran off being busy with other stuff...

I really appreciate their company... wish we could do this more often.

I hope things will start to pick up soon. I hate being gloomy. Sucks.

[Time of Confession] 1:39 AM
2 Wisecracks for Me

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2 Comments:

peabrain_mokkie_atwork said...: This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.; 1:45 PM
peabrain_mokkie_atwork said...: "A little faith
Brightens a rainy day
Life is difficult you can go away
Don't hide yourself in a corner
You have my place to stay

Sorrow is gonna say goodbye
Opens up
You'll see the happy sunshine
Keep going on with your dream
Chasing tomorrow sunrise
The spirit can never die

Sun will shine, my friend
Won't let you cry, my dear
Seeing you shed a tear ,make my world disappear
You'll never be alone in darkness

See my smile, my friend
We are with you, holding hands
you have got to believe ,you are my destiny
We're meant to be your friends
That's what a friend should be"

This song is called "Shining Friends"
and believe that you've got lotsa shining friends ard you...; 1:48 PM