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[C'EST MOI]
living paradox. individualist with anarchistic tendencies.
eludes eminence but appreciates subtle recognition.
capricious yet dependable. clandestine and unfathomable.
cynical realist who succumbs to the occasional idealism.

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    Saturday, August 20, 2005

    Salvage

    Thank God for the weekend.

    I can finally break free from the desolation that plagued me the entire week.

    It's all coming to me now, why I'm feeling this way.

    I have nothing more to work towards to, other than my studies. There is no longer any more IVP squash team. All the gruelling 3 times a week trainings, the mental and physical challenge, it no longer exists.

    I now return to an empty room everyday after school and hour after hour, I have only my books to face.

    It's an irony though.

    When I was juggling millions of activities, I wished I could have more time for my work.

    Now when I only have my work, I feel miserable. It's like not having a hobby anymore. I can't wait to start my project - at least I will have a short term goal to work towards (precisely what I'm lacking) and something to occupy my hollow afternoons.

    And it doesn't help that most of my close friends have either left or graduated. I have never felt more alone.

    Anyway, being home for the weekend really does magic on my mood. For one, there is no quiet moment with my sister around. Her weekly events are enough to last the entire day and night.

    And yesterday, for the first time ever, I went on a sponsored l**g**** shopping spree with my mum's credit card. CREDIT CARD. For ME to sign. Wahahaha... (this actually came as quite a surprise to me, it's very unlike my mum to sponsor any shopping. She seems to be in a good mood lately. Even my sister noticed that she's more upbeat and is nicer to my siblings. I hope this keeps up!)

    But of course, being the sensible daughter I am, I didn't max-out the card. In fact, it's barely even a spree.

    Now that I've managed to seek asylum, I don't feel like going back.

    [Time of Confession] 10:55 AM
    0 Wisecracks for Me

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