Confessions of an Undisguised Drama Queen

Saturday, August 06, 2005

Mirror Image

Sometimes, it's the little things in life shed light on why we do the things we do.

I feel that we humans simply behave like mirrors. We reflect what we get from the people around us.

What do I mean?

For instance, if someone were to be kind to you, you would naturally want to return a favour. It is unlikely that you would want to cause harm to someone who has been nothing but nice to you. Of course, sometimes you do it unintentionally, but more often than not, you're left with a gnawing sense of guilt thereafter (no?? you heartless thing!!)

Need a clearer example? A and B are friends/ neighbours. A was planning to do her grocery shopping at the supermarket. Before departing, B comes over and says,

"Hey, I'm going to town to develop some photos. Do you need to develop any photos?"

Then A replies, "No thanks! But I'm on my way to the supermarket. You need me to get anything for you?"

Taking a closer look at this scenario, A probably wouldn't have offered to do any shopping for B. Not that she didn't want to; perhaps it just didn't cross her mind to offer help. But when B came over and wanted to help A to develop any photos she might have, A naturally responded by offering to grocery shop for B.

It is probably more evident in the negative case.

The classic model: when you have a inclination to dislike someone because the person doesn't like you. It happens naturally all the time, but if you were to look at it in another way, it really seems quite ridiculous and petty.

"I hate that guy."

"Why?"

"Because he hates me too...."

Another example from my personal experience. I have a friend who takes ages to reply sms-es. Sometimes I get no replies at all. Initially I simply brushed off the incident, giving the friend the benefit of the doubt that she was probably occupied.

But the same thing happened again on several other occasions (and it's not as if we are friends who have not been in contact for a long time. we do see each other occasionally and i would have asked her why she didn't reply my messages but then again, i'm not close to her and don't want to seem probing).

Then one day, she sent me an sms asking me some stuff. I hit on the 'reply' button but a thought came to me. Why should I reply her immediately? (someone please tell me that this reaction is only natural and that i'm not evil! oops...)

Then I remembered what it felt like to have messages 'ignored' and thus replied her the same way I'd do to any other friend of mine. A tinge of bitterness lingered nonetheless.

Why is it that we humans are such petty creatures?

Are we so insecure that we are only able to show graciousness to those who show that to us first? So that we're not 'short-changed'? Why are we so small-hearted and afraid of being taken advantage of?

Maybe it's time to reflect on how we behave and take heed what Jesus said in the Bible:

"But I say to you that listen: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you.
If anyone strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also; and from anyone who takes away your coat do not withhold even your shirt.
Give to everyone who begs from you; and if anyone takes away your goods, do not ask for them again.

Do to others as you would have them do to you.

If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. If you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. If you lend to those from whom you hope to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to receive as much again.

But love your enemies, do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return. Your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High; for he is kind to the ungrateful and the wicked.

Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful. Do not judge, and you will not be judged; do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven; give, and it will be given to you."

Luke 6:27-38

[Time of Confession] 7:47 PM
3 Wisecracks for Me

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3 Comments:

peabrain_mokkie_atwork said...: muahahah i totally agree!! sometimes i just choose to believe that its human nature that when we give in a relationship we expect smthing back? i dunnoe but smtimes this did hit me too! and i've just been thru this struggle myself!and i totally agree that we msut embrace and love our enemies!! but then again ur frenz will no longer b special to u?? cos u treat ur enemies like how u treat ur frenz..but then again its all abt how u wanna live life! BE HAPPY!!; 2:40 AM
Madcap J said...: yes, after MD's long long comment, the gist is... we should all learn to love unconditionally: AGAPE.

then it comes into the question, who do we love? everyone? but can our miserly hearts take that large amount of emotion?

i guess being human, we're all flawed. we can only keep working towards being a better person. we're still far from good.

if we were really good, i guess there would be no point in living already. i think life is all about self-improvement. it's a journey till your very last breath. agreed?; 9:52 PM
Anonymous said...: Its a form of self-defence mechanism. Nobody likes to be taken advantage of, or to have his/her actions unreciprocated, unappreciated. No matter how sincere you can be about not asking for anything in return, somewhere in the back of your head will still bug you for it. Unless the person's matureness can overcome it. Yeah, nobody is perfect. We just try to do the best we can, within our limits.; 4:24 AM