Confessions of an Undisguised Drama Queen

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Reality Bites

It was a magical week of blues, soul and funk, but reality hit me hard in the stomach when, after the last Ublues performance on Sunday night, that I had tutorials and a due assignment unprinted, unread and untouched.

My bubble burst and I fell from the heavens where I was watching Trevor and the band crooning right in front of me.

Day-dreaming's over.

I'm back at school 24/5 (minus the weekends) and I am beginning to see my schedule book fill up by the minute.

A TLL (Temasek Life Sciences Lab) open house and block supper tomorrow, squash on Thursday... and a whole week of sports for IBG coming soon (yay! can play softball and hockey!).

Not forgetting a whole bunch of sucky modules and lecturers who are determined to make us suffer with less than helpful notes and no fixed texts.

Cham.

Need to work extra hard this semester... but it's only week 2 and I'm feeling sleep deprived.
It's only going to get worse when the lab sessions start next week.

And it really doesn't help when the moral has hit the trough.

A*STAR rejected me for the PGA and it's really demoralising. It's frustrating to find out that no matter how much effort has been put in, I will never be good enough. The future looks bleak. Really, what is my purpose in doing everything I'm doing? Why am I even here on this planet? Mere existence?

Biodiversity.

That's the answer to the question "Why, as a species and as an individual, are you very important for the well-being of human society" (quoted from my Modern Biology III tutorial).

Purpose for being on this earth? To provide some genetic variation in the population that is vital for survival and propagation in the event of a change in environment for natural selection to act upon.

So that's it?

Really, what is the whole point of living if there is no purpose. Worse still, why bother, if you have ideals and hopes that just keep crashing down on you?

[Time of Confession] 12:38 AM
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