Confessions of an Undisguised Drama Queen

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

What I Really Need...

I have snapped out of the dreamy state of mind and that longing for some romance. The effects of romantic movies are easily undermined by the harshness of reality. With a whole list of things waiting to be done, I haven't got the energy to daydream and wonder when Mr. Right is going to come by.

I'd say what I really need is TIME and MONEY. But of course that doesn't fill in the little voids in my single (I must add, also carefree and happy) life. Especially frustrating sometimes is when I can't find company that shares the same interests.

Like last Friday, my friends asked me out to Wala but I wasn't in the pubbing mood - I badly wanted to catch a movie. I took out my phone and started to scroll my phonebook and I realised I have no one to call. Well, not exactly no one, but I wasn't confidant that any of my friends would be free to accompany me on such a short notice.

Sent out a few SMSes but most already had plans (of course. it was a Friday evening). Tried to fit into a friend's schedule but failed. I was exasperated. And peeved. I really wanted to catch a show.

Alas, thank God for good friends like Joanne, Theresa and Tresa who were so sporting to join me for the movie without hesitation and rescued me from my misery.

Sometimes I know my friends don't mind attending a concert, performance or joining some activity with me, but it makes me feel bad if they weren't really interested in the first place. And when they end up not enjoying themselves due to the lack of interest, my enthusiasm would be dampen by guilt - like I have wasted the precious time of my friend. It's a lose-lose situation.

Unless, of course, my friend actually takes an interest to the activity, that would be most ideal, but more often than not, it only occurs in a million chances and I'm not willing to risk my friend's 'happiness'. So I end up not doing it at all.

I could really do with a companion (or companions) who I can hang out with and just do stuff that WE like together. Irregardless of sex. But it seems everyone's always so busy.

Me included.

[Time of Confession] 10:09 PM
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