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[C'EST MOI]
living paradox. individualist with anarchistic tendencies.
eludes eminence but appreciates subtle recognition.
capricious yet dependable. clandestine and unfathomable.
cynical realist who succumbs to the occasional idealism.

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    Thursday, April 13, 2006

    Solitude

    It's such a relief to be back at home.

    The mess doesn't even bother me that much anymore. It's funny how circumstances change people.

    I never wanted it to be this way though.

    I want to be strong, to believe that in spite of my situation, my God is still with me. But at the end of it, no matter how I was comforted that His presence was with me, I still knew that humans were not created to live in isolation. Even Adam had Eve.

    I have no one.

    That's basically what the past few days have been for me. And it's enough to drive me a little over the edge. I feel so deprived from human contact that the lack of emotional support was overbearing. I didn't even feel hungry enough to eat.

    Does the problem lie with me then?

    My sister asked me if I'm anti-social.

    I hope not...

    I'm hard to get to know and I don't like wearing my heart on my sleeve. I don't open up to people easily but aren't most people like that too? At least I save putting up a front with a big wide grin to please the masses.

    So does this make me anymore unpleasant as a person as anyone else?

    [Time of Confession] 5:04 PM
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