[C'EST MOI]
living paradox. individualist with anarchistic tendencies.
eludes eminence but appreciates subtle recognition.
capricious yet dependable. clandestine and unfathomable.
cynical realist who succumbs to the occasional idealism.
[J'AIME]
music. films. feasting & drinking. team sports.
good company; family, friends and those who share similar interests.
Tonight, I did something I never quite thought I was capable of doing. I cried.
Don't be mistaken. I'm not a cold, emotionless creature. It's just that I've always been someone whom it'll take alot of make me cry. I once told a friend, if someone makes me cry, that person is either really good or really bad. I believed that it would take extremities to make me shed tears. Other than that, my tear glands are non-functional.
A personal problem has been bugging me for quite a while and just as I came to a decision, my mum gave me a piece of her own opinion and advice that sent my mind reeling. She made alot of sense, and yes, I did agree with what she thinks. However, I can't ignore the other factors that she felt weren't important.
On the other hand, my dad has his own opinion and I feel an immense pressure to choose the other decision. And since my parents aren't exactly on talking terms, it's up to me to gather their opinions as well as my own, and generate a conclusion.
Knowing that for sure not everyone will be pleased with the decision I make (there's bound to be someone who's not happy), I can't help but feel a heavy burden thrown on my shoulders to bear. Suddenly feeling helpless, small and burdened, a wave of emotion came over me and I cried.
Being able to cry doesn't make me feel like I've become weaker - in fact, I feel that it is a sign that I have matured.
In the past, when I was faced with troubles, I chose to ignore it, distract myself and make myself feel numb so I wouldn't feel the hurt and hence, didn't cry. But things have since changed.
Being able to cry means facing the problem, acknowledging that it hurts, it's difficult and that being humans, we can only do so much. Coming to terms with our weakness allows us to embrace the problem in a different light - we cannot live alone in this world. We cannot survive on our own. Be it God, friends, family, colleagues, sometime, somehow, we have to depend on external help. We cannot be fully independent. It's the way of the world. Even nature works that way, that's why we have the ecosystem.
Crying is good because it opens the lungs, washes the countenance, exercises the eyes and softens the temper. According to medical research, tears have a complex chemical composition and varies between those of anger and sadness. Hence it is also believed that crying is an effective way of eliminating stress-related substances built up in the body - which is why most people feel better after a good hard cry.
So if today you are feeling stressed and burdened, go ahead and let it out. Don't be afraid to cry. I'm not.
[Time of Confession] 1:00 AM 0 Wisecracks for Me
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