Confessions of an Undisguised Drama Queen

Monday, August 23, 2004

Being Alone

I meant to write about this in yesterday's blog, but after relating my friend's unhappy encounter with Mr. Crush, I decided that the entry was long enough. So I've carried it forward to today's entry.

If you've read Sunday's papers, in particular the Lifestyle section, you'll know very well what I'm going to write about. "Never been kissed" was the phrase the writer used to describe singles who've never dated or been in a relationship. Apart from the large, red lipstick stain on the frontpage, I was totally intrigued by the issue. Who wouldn't? Besides, it certainly was something I felt I could relate to.

Most of the "Never Been Kissed" people interviewed were (not surprisingly) women. In their late 30s, 40s and even 50s. These women were not lowly educated and had careers of their own. So why were they single? Was it out of choice? Their choice to remain single or because they were OUT of men's choice of an ideal woman partner?

Although these people occupy their lives with religion, family and friends, there's is still an uncontrollable sense of sympathy that exists for we all think that it is inevitable that one would feel lonely without a love of his/ her life.

Then I look at my own life and wonder. I'll definitely qualify to be in the category of the "Never Been Kissed". The only difference, perhaps, is that I'm much younger than the ladies mentioned in the article. Even so, a silent fear creeps up unknowingly upon me and grips me tightly in the chest. What if this continues till I'm 30, 40, 50?

Things may not seem that bad now because of my busy schedule - juggling schoolwork, giving tuition, squash trainings, hall life, friends and family - which keeps me occupied. But what if one day, being busy just ain't on my agenda anymore, I'll finally realise that I'm actually pretty much left alone. Will I be able to deal with it?

Just to comfort myself and the other singles out there, it is not impossible to be alone and yet not feel lonely. It doesn't have to be that way. Besides, I haven't even started on the plus points of being single... *grin*

[Time of Confession] 1:56 AM
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